I got agitated last night when thinking about the new Muse CD that comes out today. It was 8pm and I wanted it then, dammit! Waiting until today, after work, was not good enough. I felt like a heroin addict waiting for her next fix.
I also tried, unsuccessfully, to get tickets to a show I desperately wanted to go to. Ali and I both had to put it out of our minds as every show within 8 hours was sold out and yes, I would have driven to Atlanta for it.
Around this time, I was talking to Serena online and said how I'm glad I'm not a drinker or drug user because I would be a goner. When I have a bad day, I don't think, "I could really use a drink*", I usually think, "I need to order a CD" or "Mmmmm, an iced caramel macchiato would be SO good right now!" The other day my dad reminded me that I owe him my current payment for the bassoon loan and I said how my work check is delayed. He said something about, "not buying so many CDs then" and I flipped out. I haven't ordered or purchased a CD in months** and was upset because that's like an alcoholic passing the bar on the way home*** without stopping in.
So, even tough I really shouldn't, and ideally should wait at least until I get paid, I'm going to Target on my lunch break to buy this CD. That, along with the Starbucks I got this morning with a rediscovered gift card, is what will get me through this week. (But what will I do when I see the new Thom Yorke CD there, too?)
*OK, Sometimes I do but since I am so rarely in a situation when I can fulfill that wish, I don't often use that as my "fix".
**The new Snow Patrol didn't count since we were going to be seeing them. Plus, $9.99 new releases are ok. I HAVE successfully not ordered any CDs in months!
***I'm not trivializing alcoholism or drug use. Just trying to explain my "need".