Toxic

Last night, in my class, someone said, "What do you think of when you picture a Gifted and Talented kid?" Noone answered so I said, "Me."

Then, later on, someone used the analogy of a stoplight to explain something but I had a flashback to first grade instead. So while they were discussing tracking or something, I was travelling in my own pensieve back to 1986 or so.

After going to M.M. Pierce Elementary School for Kindergarten and having my teachers totally adore me, I changed schools to start 1st grade at Mary Walter Elementary. I'm trying to organize the timeline in my head and all I can come up with for changing schools without moving is that the zones changed. So with the zones changing, I began my second year of school somewhere else. Somewhere that now, in my memories, is equated with Lil' Smokies and stoplights.



I need to ask my mom, but I don't think my sarcasm was outwardly present as a 6 year old. I think I was quiet, shy, and well-behaved. I do remember curling up my nametag on my desk because that's what the popular girl did, even though extra points were given at the end of the year for nametags that stayed neat. I don't have too many memories from that school and I can't even remember my teacher's name but what I remember vividly were lunch periods.

Like most elementary schools, lunch was held in a large cafeteria with hundreds of kids at once so the volume levels could get pretty high. This school decided to use a STOPLIGHT to control our talking. As a 6 year old, I hated this. I found it ridiculous that *yellow* should be a warning to quiet down or we would have to have silent lunch. And of course there were the idiot kids who would not shut up and had to be obnoxious and push that stoplight towards red and the dreaded silent lunch.

But feared and dreaded even more than silent lunch was Lil' Smokies Day. Even the thought of Lil' Smokies Day now makes me feel ill and is probably the reason I've blocked out much of my time at that school. Other kids viewed LSD much like they did Pizza Day which was met with excitement (even mine) and and a decrease in packed lunches. LSD for me meant a packed lunch and a look of disgust towards my "friends" eating those vile little things. One day though, the worst happened and I forgot to pack my lunch. To this day I maintain they changed the lunch schedule without telling us and as a result, I was forced to participate in Lil' Smokies Day. I tried my hardest to eat the mac 'n' cheese and applesauce and leave my Lil' Smokies but apparently, that wasn't allowed. I was told to eat my (gag) smoked meat or I would get detention and as a young pleaser and do-gooder, detention was not an option. I don't think I have tasted a Lil' Smokie in 20 years but can still imagine the wretched taste those little things produce.

I ended up leaving that school halfway through the year when we moved across town and I actually re-enrolled back in M.M. Pierce. I was not sad to leave the stoplight school with nasty meat products for lunch but I was sad because I moved a week after I found out I had made the newspaper staff. At the time, I was heartbroken and felt my career as a journalist was ruined and I would never be on newspaper again. But now, when I look back, I think about how ludicrous it was for a first grader to be on newspaper. Had I stayed though, I am certain my first piece would have been an expose on Lil' Smokies and I would have worked endlessly to get rid of that damn stoplight.