It's weird to substitute teach. For many reasons. Mostly because you never know what you are getting into. I was lucky enough to book a 9 week sub job at the beginning of the school year so after about two days I knew what I was getting into each day. I learned names, which helps immensely. A couple weeks ago I subbed for an elementary school music class and when those wiggly Kindergartners came in, I was praying to God for some enlightenment of names. "Boys and girls!" doesn't get the attention you would like when three of them are sliding across the floor. And I wasn't ready for the tearful "I miss my mommy!" to which I responded, "I do, too."
It is also weird to sub because I am in control of my own schedule for the most part and when those jobs pop up and you see "Accept" or "Decline", the thought of the unknown can sometimes take over and force my hand to click "Decline." Yesterday one of the jobs that popped up included a description that included "changing diapers"..."Decline." More props to the ones who would take that job, but I couldn't handle it. I would probably end the day wiggling on the floor crying, "I miss my mommy!"
And the sub anxiety is fierce. Showing up to work where you have no idea what the day will hold for you is slightly terrifying. And maybe my recent education classes are not helping that cause. Not so much that I know more about the classes I'm going into, but that I feel like I should be doing more than the 19-year old Scarlet did as a sub. Yes, that's right...I subbed when I was 19 and in one of my favorite stories, my first day subbing they had me take a class on a field trip. It was like a kid leading the kids. I'm still not sure how or why they let me do that.
Tomorrow I'm subbing at my old high school for my 10th grade english teacher. I wonder if they'll treat me like a student when I go into the office. It never fails to happen whenever I have gone in there since graduating. Maybe I'll wear my "Class of '98" shirt tomorrow.
But really, wish me luck. I hope I don't need it, but as a sub, I need to be prepared.