Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Grand Theft Autumn

Not that I will ever pick up and read a copy of The Secret, but if you are one of the masses keeping this ridiculous book on the bestseller list, then I'll start this campaign in a way you will understand it:

If we think fall starts on Friday, then it will!

Right? Right. I can't even remember how this fabulous idea started, but I think it was when I was talking to Brendan about his birthday (which is Friday, lucky him!) and he declared the day to be Brensday. Not one to argue over newly formed holidays, I went with his idea and started to declare what would make the day special and how it could be celebrated. So, even though it's his day, I started to name my own favorite things including alcohol (check!) and cold weather...and that is when I had my grand idea: Fall will commence on Friday.

People keep asking me why. Why not? If we want summer to be over, it will be. Mother Nature may be late with the action plan, but why let that cunt stop us? I, for one, am ready for fall and it will be starting on Friday.

So, spread the word! FALL STARTS ON FRIDAY! Refer to the following if you have any questions:

  1. Pack away your white bags, too, biatches. Those mofos are out of style.
  2. I expect to see no more pastels (not that we ever should have seen them. Seriously, pastels are the work of the devil.)
  3. More browns, blacks, and other dark, saturated colors.
  4. Let's also all go out and get OPI's Russian Navy, my new love.
  5. Flip flops are still allowed.
  6. No tank tops/sleeveless shirts is advisable. We don't want Mother Nature to think we like the hott-ass weather.
  7. Keep an eye on the sky. You can tell fall is coming by the sky. It gets clearer and crisper. Believe me. I watch for it.
  8. No. More. Shorts.
  9. And, most importantly, if you think it's cooler out, it will be.
So, with that, I wish you a Happy HAPPY start to fall. I hope your Friday is wonderful and cool.



Kristabella said...

And it shall be so.

I'm fine if it is still considered summer. As long as it's summer with temperatures in the 70s.

Otherwise my feet get cold in flip flops.

minijonb said...

i wish i could be down with this, but Fall starts when i can finally take the AC units out of the window. that might not be until October.

CBK said...

Wouldn't this brilliant plan yield Grand "Gift" Autumn? ;-)

You must know I know the source of the post title.

Courtney said...

yes! I love Fall clothes. Dark colors. Layers. Light sweaters. Too bad I never get to wear any of that stuff anymore since I get 1-2 months of Winter and no Fall. Not to mention that Winter is only 40-50 degrees. I'm getting tired of the heat.

Miss Scarlet said...

Kristabella- I hate wearing shoes if it's warmer than 70. Summer is gross. I hate it.

Minijonb- Yes, I can see where that would be a problem. Look at the AC as making it feel more fall-like, though.

CBK- Love Braid!

Courtney- I seriously could never live in FL.