Thursday, January 25, 2007

February Stars

According to my daily horoscope calendar I got for 50% off at Barnes and Noble, Wednesday was supposed to be a really good day for me. The little 2"x3" square has the heart, money sign, and the stoplight next to the date. Even though I have no idea what the stoplight is representing, I was pretty pleased with my horoscope when I read it just a moment ago. Yeah, I know I'm a day late, but it's tough to remember to check the little thing daily. There are many things I'm supposed to do daily that I sometimes forget to do*. And even now, as I try to remember what daily activities I sometimes forget to do, I am having a little trouble remembering anything I do daily.

Where were we? Oh yes, my horoscope from yesterday (or two days ago if you're reading this on Friday, which is most likely since I bet I don't hit publish until then.) So it says to focus on my ultimate goals and then to use my inherant grace, political skills, and powers of persuasion to "negotiate arrangements for achieving them." Negotiate? That seems weird. But what if the things I want can't be achieved through persuasion? I'd rather substitute in charm there. So, I will be using my inherant grace and charm to get what I want. (Yeah, I sorta paraphrased and left out some other words, but it sounds better that way and requires less effort on my part.)

So, what do I want? It seems like the stars wouldn't go to all this trouble for something I obviously want (like, a high-paying job where I sit around and listen to music all day) or something that is impossible (like lambs being a different animal than sheep**.)

So we've got the heart, which obviously means love and lust and everything in between. Do I want that? Was that a rhetorical question? (<----Was that one?)

And we have the money sign. Holy hell do I want and need some more money, but so far in my 26 years and 11 months***, I have yet to get money from anyone other than my grandmother solely for my grace and charm. Getting offered money in exchange for..well, things while walking past Camelot**** doesn't exactly count and no I did not accept the offer.

And the stoplight. I'm really at a loss with that one. Does it mean I always want to have green lights at intersections? Because really, I don't. Red lights are when I text***** and check my email (Yes, I'm that girl.) Does it mean I want to be a dragracer? Um, not so much.

So what, exactly, are my grace and charm going to get me? Because I've got a lot of it and, like my horoscope said, if I focus on whatever my ultimate goal is, I'm so going to get it.

*Flossing is NOT one of them, Dr. Swann.
***That's right, bitches! My birthday is NEXT MONTH!
****It's a strip club in DC and I guess we can all pretend like you didn't already know. *wink*
*****Verizon? Verizon? Anyone? Bueller?


Pam said...

Focus, Scarlet, Focus!!!
: )

If that doesn't work, turn on your charm and let the good times roll!

Anonymous said...

Damn horoscopes and fortune cookies! They always piss about in the generics and never lay it out proper...

My favourite one was in a student newspaper that read something like: "You are going to get out of bed and hit your left forearm on the table, leaving a bruise approximately 3cm in diameter. Do not cross any roads today - you will die if you do."

Dunno about your predicament though - maybe write down what it is you want and just damn well go and get it...

Velvet said...

I find the Harper's Bazaar monthly horoscopes to be DEAD ON.

And I think you're charming!! Does that count?

Miss Scarlet said...

Pam- hahaha, ok, ok! Focusing!

Ant- That is a hilarious 'scope. I love it.

Velvet- It definitely counts!