Tuesday, April 17, 2007

The Conductor

I got pissed in orchestra tonight. Visibly annoyed. Except for my text messaging habit in between movements, my rehearsal behavior is impeccable. I am attentive, I always have a pencil, I listen, I don't talk when not playing, I glance up more than most players, and I nod my head to direction. I make up for any mistakes I may make by being good in other ways. So tonight, when Maestro scolded me and Clarinet Dude for talking when he was trying to tell us something, I was livid.

1) Do not "scold" me. We're both adults and even if I think you're an amazing conductor, I don't "owe" you any respect that results in me being talked to like that.

2) Clarinet Dude and I were talking about the music. We were quietly figuring out a tricky rhythm* and why we had messed it up. Maestro made it sound like we were discussing Amazing Race or something.

3) Work on your selective hearing, buddy. Maybe you should say something to the bass player who never stops playing or the french horns** who don't even whisper when talking.

And then later you said something to the Woodwinds about dragging the tempo. Then, a few measures later I barely knew where I was because the annoying strings were sucking at life and...oh yes...dragging the tempo. And maybe check on their intonation as much as you check on our notes. Mmmhmm.

Yeah, so I was pissed when he told us to "not talk" so we can hear what he's trying to tell us. To this I said in quite the snotty tone, "We were talking about the music." I should have added an "ass" onto that: "We were talking about the music, ass!" Oh, I was so angry. I then proceeded to give him my patented "Scarlet Look" each and every time he told us something. I hope he knows he pissed me off.


*'s the new e-g-y-p-t
**I love you guys because you're hilarious, but you do talk A LOT.


Ant said...

Right on - you tell him, the ass...

Interestingly, I did laugh at the first line of this post. Not sure if you guys say this too but to "be pissed" in the UK means to be in a drunken stupor - I had this immediate vision of you blowing bubbles during rehearsal and having trouble staying on your seat... :o)

Senor Beavis said...

If it makes you feel better, my boss has an annoying tendency to condescendingly call me out and make blanket statements about what I should be doing as procedure, sometimes in person, sometimes in email with other recipients. At least half the time, she's wrong and when I point that out, she's like, "Oh, you're right," and I'm like, "I know." Fortunately, I don't care as much anymore since I'm leaving in a few months.

Unknown said...

By the way, when you texted me last night I could so just picture the look you gave him. : )

Miss Scarlet said...

Ant- Haha, that's funny. Yeah, here we'd say "piss drunk", but "pissed" would just mean really angry.

Senor Beavis- Do they know you're leaving?

Serena- Haha, oh yeah. It was THAT look.