Alternate Title: Why I Will Never Be Bulimic
Alternate Title: What It's Like To Have The Devil In Your Stomach
Alternate Title: How Many Different Ways Can You Say "Vomit"?
****Do not read on if you don't like to read about vomiting. I did a lot of that yesterday and I plan on telling you all about it. You're welcome in advance.****
I had to pull over twice on my way home last night. Once at a rest stop that I screeched into and had my door open before I was even stopped and again, just a mile from my house. I was so thirsty that I just had to take sips of water, even though I knew it would cause me to throw up. I thought my head was going to explode. Or dry out or something. I felt like death.
Moving backwards, I got potato skins and ginger ale at Fridays with Ali and Serena because I thought I was feeling better. This, of course, caused the previously described reaction and I'm pretty sure the other girl in the TGIF bathroom thought I was bulimic. I should have known better since after my nap at Ali's and the water I couldn't help but gulp down left me extremely nauseous even after vomiting once again. But by that point in the day, after not being able to keep any food or water down, I was beyond starving despite knowing I would end up ralphing.
I also threw up at the bar we went to for happy hour. I know it sounds ludicrous for us to have gone somewhere for happy hour when I was so sick, but I didn't want to ruin people's days and Ali ended up coming to get me anyway so I had to wait for her. Before happy hour, I stood outside Starbucks for awhile, ready to climb in the trashcan I was using. I felt like death.
I think before that was the end of our Wine Week lunch at Smith & Wollensky where I left my mark and began my afternoon of vomiting. It was a lot of fun up until that point. Me, Serena, and R met up with Joyce, her husband, and his colleagues at a hott* table in the corner. I think my favorites were the sparkling and the Riesling and my least favorites were the reds that supposedly taste like butter or something. I never did taste that. I had the steak sandwich, which was pretty good and the amazing fries . Oh yeah, and the calamari. BLEECHHHHHHHHH! Damn you, calamari! I blame you for releasing the devil in my body that caused me to feel sick for the next 12 hours**.
*Hott because we were sitting there.
**I know you're probably thinking I got sick from the wine, but I didn't. I never get sick and I didn't even have enough to get sick. And if you want me to get all detaily about the barfing, I will, and then you will believe me that it was from the food.