I haven't ventured out of my classroom too much so far as I like to spend my planning period trying to memorize names and my lunch break eating and getting ready for the last 3 classes of the day. But the other teachers I have seen so far seem to have mastered the art of looking like a teacher. Comfortable, flats with a lot of elastic, long, flowy skirts that do nothing for one's figure and seem to find a "waist" up near the boobs. Earrings made to look like apples and rulers. And while it is too warm now for such fine additions to fashion, I am certain I will encounter a few applique sweaters at work, too.
I so far have completely avoided looking like a teacher, but I fear that it is mostly due to my inability to look much older than 25. My current theory is that with applique comes authority and that this is the secret to teaching. All classroom management issues can be solved by an applique sweater and once a teacher finally gives in and wears one, her class is attentive and ready to learn.
Men don't count. They don't wear applique and they don't need to because their voices are deep and they're tall. Deep voices and height also seem to do magical things where children and behavior are involved. Men have these booming voices that travel across entire cafeterias and get students to behave.
Or maybe I need to have a baby. There also seems to be something about mothers that just exudes "Don't mess with me." Oooh, and then I'd get to take maternity leave!
XO,
SVR
8 comments:
Hahahahaa... being male does not help.
S
SCARLET DON'T DO IT. You're talking about crossing over to the dark side...and it's only the second day!!!
Steven- I am confident you read that how I meant it, but just so other people don't think I have such crazy thoughts I will clarify. I don't REALLY think that being male is an automatic way to get kids to listen and there are definitely some awesome (scary) female teachers out there, too. But my classroom is right off of the cafeteria and it's all males who monitor the lunches. Let me tell you-their voices are booming and those kids listen. I could really use a deep, booming voice to be heard over instruments!
Cindy- I won't ever wear an applique sweater, but my current fear is a perpetually warm school envronment where sweaters won't be appropriate. OH MY GAWD, I will die if it's super warm in the winter. Oh wait, I'm only there til November and then I'll just have to make sure to get assignments only in the tundra-like schools.
Word of advice: If you're looking for a cold climate, go to Warrenton Middle. That school was a disaster when I subbed there, and the kids were freaking insane. But I always ended up with SPED jobs out in the trailers which never had working heat. I used to have to wear my coat all day.
Good old Cedar Lee with the band room right off the cafeteria. I made out with a boy named Marshall in the back of that band room when I was in ninth grade (he was a REALLY crappy trumpet player...but a really cute boy!) ;););););)
Come to think of it, that asshole broke up with me in that band room too!
Oh wait...I might have also kissed Mike Farina in there in 8th grade!!!! (hehe)
can you wear jeans? i'd wear jeans all the time. i love my job but if i got an offer that included wearing jeans everyday, i might seriously consider a career as a vacuum cleaner sales woman or something. i can't remember if any of my teachers wore jeans. hmm.
Shake yourself really hard, take a big swig of caffeine (or alcohol), and back away from the applique.
If I weren't so tired, I'd laugh, laugh, laugh. Why, oh, why is it so in schools? I know teachers watch TV, too, and haven't they seen how many of their ilk show up on "how do i look"-type shows?
Hold strong, Scarlet, hold strong.
Can you tell us what your first day outfit was?
I can loan you pics of my kids and you can say they are yours, then you can fool them into behaving!
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