Sunday, November 26, 2006

Cunt London

I was told today not to put "cuntbear" on my special orders at the [Unamed, But Largest In The Country] bookstore I work at.

To explain: A few months ago, Serena and I needed to order our books for bookclub. We're there all the freaking time so it's not necessary to have our real names on there and we thought it would be funny to put something else. And since I love the word cunt, we put it in as "Cuntbear" because it's awesome. "Hello, may I speak to....cuntbear? Your order is in." And really, as my good friend A said, "Once you say cuntbear a few times, it totally takes away the stigma of cunt." (I totally paraphrased what she may or may not have said. But it's the general idea that matters.)

So today the woman who MAY or may not be the manager came up and said, "You have a minute?" Now, she and I have only ever shared about two sentences of conversation so I figured something was up. She was holding the order form and asked if I knew anything about it. I can't remember if I laughed out loud or if it was just in my head, but I said "Yeah, why?" She went on to say how it was inappropriate and while it was before her time there (the order is a few months old which is really what I should have been "scolded" about), those things go to Corporate and it would be linked with my name.


Like they're going to try to fire me because I put cuntbear on my order form? Or because Steve Riggio will shake his head in disappointment because I used a word his mother doesn't like? Bitch, please!

She was inquiring like it was this big deal: "Who wrote it?" "Why?" "Who else was involved?" I protected my partner in 'crime' until I honestly couldn't remember if we needed the books still or not and said that Serena would know. Then I said how a future book club book is named Cunt* so I didn't think it was a big deal. She wouldn't even say the word. It was funny. I'm wondering if she will try to get our bookclub to change our January selection. She even said how we don't censor, but it's not appropriate. Well, that's her opinion and someone (<-----) needs to lighten up.

BECAUSE IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL! It's a word. It's not like I've been wearing a nametage at work that says, "Fuck You" or "Scarlet Love Hitler 4 Eva!" And besides, it's not considered to be inappropriate by everyone. Good ol' Wikipedia has brought it to my attention that in Australia it's a complimentary term and is also perfectly acceptable in other countries.

And this whole "derogatory to women" thing is ridiculous. It's only derogatory if you think it is. Use it all the cunting time and it won't be anything but a slang word. It's taboo to some only because they're afraid of it. And it's just a cunting word!

Serena is going to make t-shirts: "Call me cunt. I like it."

And I've decided to name my second dog Cuntbear.

Oh and if you make any orders at bookstores in the future, please use the name Cuntbear or any other combination using cunt.



*Can't believe I have to buy a book from the Womens Studies section-ugh! But I will carry the book with pride and shove it in people's faces.


honeykbee said...

Oh the irony that a single word could cause so much uproar in a bookstore!

Anonymous said...

I love that word. You really should make up t-shirts...I'd buy one!!!

Dara said...

Dude, this woman really needs to read herself some Henry Miller. She'd totally be desensitized to the word after that.

Serena said...

You brilliant cunt! Seriously, this made my blood boil like little does when you told me. She does NOT want to have me go all first amendment on her ass. I'm totally fucking serious about making the t-shirts and am going to actively recruit some GMU women's group for that particular bookclub. Hell, I buy them copies to get them to come. I also have contacts at the ACLU that I'm not afraid to use.

Dara - Amen to Henry Miller!

Miss Scarlet said...

Honeykbee- Haha, seriously! The fact that we sell books of the same name seems funny. Hell, we have Bullshit on display there.

Cindy- Awesome! I'll mark you down for one:)

Dara- Haha, I should suggest it to her. Maybe I'll make a staff rec, haha.

Serena- You know, if she had approached it with, "You need to use your real name on orders" that would have been different, you know? But acting like saying cuntbear was bad pissed me off. I don't care if it's connected to my name.

KassyK said...

AHA that just made my morning. I love the various terms for vagina...and I think your right--its only offensive if you MAKE it offensive.

minijonb said...

I've been trained by previous women in my life that the "C" word is the one word I should never, ever say. Besides, is cunt really as flexible a word as, say, fuck? Can you use it as a verb?

Miss Scarlet said...

Kassyk- I'm more sensitive to the p word (*ussy;). Cunt is used in plenty of places as a word that doesn't even mean the vajayjay, ya know? It IS a great word.

Minijonb- Well, I have no problem with it so feel free to let it flow here. The way I see it, if someone wants to insult me, it's not word choice that will necessarily do it, it's going to be actions and the way they say it. And oh yeah you can use cunt any way you want to!

Anonymous said...

wow a book called 'cunt!'
I have to read it.

Vanessa said...

Great, now Serena's going to start getting all women's lib and quit shaving. J/K Could you just spell it Kuntbeer next time or something? Would that work? Or is that totally not the point? :o) Wait! Schlongbear! Sorry, I'm tired.

Anonymous said...

dig this: i still don't like the word that much but this made me laugh.

Ant said...

Love the word.

More power to you sister.

In fact, that T-shirt is what you make and send as my prize...

You crazy cunt. :o)

Senor Beavis said...

As a guy, I'm not going near it. I hear a lot of women use it, perhaps as a means of "reclaiming" it, which is one of the things you'll hear about black guys using the n-word. As a white guy, I don't feel comfortable saying either.

Although really I just wanted to write in to say that I think an ex called me the c-word in Spanish yesterday. First time for everything. :)