The Night I Lost My Head

So less than 12 hours after making a semi-crazy, but exciting, purchase of two CDs from Scotland, my mother, my own flesh and blood, the woman who birthed and raised me, suggested I:

1. sell my guitars and bass
2. throw my CDs away


Does the woman know me at all?


Now, to be fair to her since I don't hold her temporary lunacy against her, she didn't exactly say to me: "Scarlet, you should sell your instruments and throw away all of your CDs" but she may as well have. See, today my sister sold her drums so she's in this spring cleaning mood and apparently thinks everyone else is, too. And I am. Just the other day I moved my winter coats to the back of my closet and brought the jean jacket and rain coat to the front. I reorganized my shoes so the flips flops are more easily accessible at the expense of clunky boots I won't be wearing for a few more months. But apparently, her idea of spring cleaning was to sell those items I have spent hard earned money on and to throw away things I consider a part of an invaluable collection.

And I didn't even cry. I have this "problem" where when I'm confronted in anyway way, I cry. Everyone in my family makes fun of me and knows it's going to happen. It's quite ridicilous but I can't help it. Tonight though, I was so shocked by the audacity of the suggestion that I stayed strong and didn't shed a tear. I equated her suggestion to asking a dentist to give up his toothpicks. Ok ok, I meant to say tools but toothpick came out and once I said the mistaken word I had to go with it! You can't backtrack while arguing. It's almost as bad as crying.

Anyway, so she mentioned my guitars and bass but I knew right away what she was going to say. She tried to use my quest for a bassoon against me: "If you sold your guitars/bass you could put it towards a bassoon." This is true, yes, BUT those instruments aren't going to get enough money to warrant not having them anymore. Sure, I don't play them right now but the point it, I could. I took lessons on them and I like them. If I had hours a day to waste then I most certainly would be playing them. But I bought them myself and I'm not selling them.

Then she smoothly asked, "Once a CD is on an iPod, can the CD be thrown away?" First of all, I didn't point out the difference between iPods and iTunes and the fact that actually yes, all of my CDs are on an external harddrive. But if we're talking iPods here then really, I should point out that my iPod is in line at the pearly gates of iHeaven, waiting for whomever meets new iSouls to be let in. My poor, beautiful iPod works no more and with it being tax-time, and my crappy leap to a new tax bracket and subsequent need to pay VA/USA more than I'm comfortable with right now, I don't have the money to fix or replace it. And what about liner notes? I like liner notes and look forward to album artwork. To suggest I "throw away" these things almost makes my jaw drop. I'm the CD buyer who used to not want to throw away the clear, sticky security thing from the top of the CD. (Thankfully, I've moved past that weirdness now.)


Normally, I wouldn't care so much about these nonchalant suggestions but a chord was struck with the mention of the bassoon. I have my "Bassoonplea" presentaion ready and waiting but now I don't know when to present it. My hope is that m dad takes pity on my pleas and loans me $4000 but after the "sell"/"throw away" suggestions I'm feeling like the timing is off. You probably all think I'm crazy now, too. It's been one of those days where all senses are on edge and even laying on my bed in the dark didn't help. Uhh, not that I did that, though. The O.C. helped-thank goodness. How can I even think about my in-danger CDs and instruments as well as my lack of bassoon when Seth was a wanker and lied to Summer about not loving her anymore! And scenes from next week!? Anna! Teresa! Baby! I like Anna but not if she's going to keep Seth and Summer apart. I need a TV couple to live vicariously through and Rory and Logan aren't going to work right now.


XO,
SVR