Tuesday, January 03, 2006

No One Sees You Like I Do

I starting wondering yesterday, while complaining about someone else, if I make it easy to be my friend. I was wondering if in fact I am a hypocrite for complaining about someone else when maybe I am at fault for some things, too.

I know my faults: I don't committ to plans all of the time, when I am tired all I want to do is sleep (aka not go out), I am selfish with my time, I am bad at initiating phone calls, I am bad at returning phone calls, I can become distant when things feel off or someone is too close or I start to feel dumb about something (most often #3)...

I also know my strengths: I am VERY good at returning emails and texts, once I'm there I usually don't care what we do, I think I am generally very pleasant to be around, etc. blah blah.

Sometimes I do wish there were a few of me to be able to keep in touch with everyone. I feel bad having to say no to some people when they must think I'm dissing them to be with others. I'm not, at this point though, with 2 jobs and living at least 30 minutes from anyone, I tend to participate in activities that either work around the jobs or are with my friends who also feel like zombies from 1 too many jobs. And of course that's not to lessen friendships with those people, of course. Basically, I'm not dissing anyone but want to clarify that, if I could, I would dedicate a night to everyone because I do want to be a good friend to everyone.

But, in the meantime, until I magically have lots of free nights and require less sleep, just know that everyone means something to me....(vomit, cheesy).

***Wow, this took quite the turn from me wanting to complain about some people not making enough effort to me apologizing for being too tired to be fun...ahaha!


Serena said...

Awe...a sweet post (try not to gag). You are fun to hang out with, tired or not! I guess I should say where you're coming from on most fronts (from the complaining to the tired to the sorry). Sadly, I neglect my far away friends the most. : (

Miss Scarlet said...

Ditto...and it's easier with you and Steven because you understand the tiredness or the lack of motivation to go out for 4930249302 hours. I guess I feel badly because my "far away" friends aren't always really far away.

Serena said...

I really do understand and actually feel bad for you I shouldn't say "let's go out". Maybe it's that I feel bad for your friends that are quasi-far away and want them to have Scarlet time, too.

Miss Scarlet said...

I was going to say that I hope now with less BN it will be different but now I have class, haha. Ah well!