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Tuesday, January 03, 2006

No One Sees You Like I Do

I starting wondering yesterday, while complaining about someone else, if I make it easy to be my friend. I was wondering if in fact I am a hypocrite for complaining about someone else when maybe I am at fault for some things, too.

I know my faults: I don't committ to plans all of the time, when I am tired all I want to do is sleep (aka not go out), I am selfish with my time, I am bad at initiating phone calls, I am bad at returning phone calls, I can become distant when things feel off or someone is too close or I start to feel dumb about something (most often #3)...

I also know my strengths: I am VERY good at returning emails and texts, once I'm there I usually don't care what we do, I think I am generally very pleasant to be around, etc. blah blah.


Sometimes I do wish there were a few of me to be able to keep in touch with everyone. I feel bad having to say no to some people when they must think I'm dissing them to be with others. I'm not, at all...at this point though, with 2 jobs and living at least 30 minutes from anyone, I tend to participate in activities that either work around the jobs or are with my friends who also feel like zombies from 1 too many jobs. And of course that's not to lessen friendships with those people, of course. Basically, I'm not dissing anyone but want to clarify that, if I could, I would dedicate a night to everyone because I do want to be a good friend to everyone.

But, in the meantime, until I magically have lots of free nights and require less sleep, just know that everyone means something to me....(vomit, cheesy).


***Wow, this took quite the turn from me wanting to complain about some people not making enough effort to me apologizing for being too tired to be fun...ahaha!

4 comments:

Serena said...

Awe...a sweet post (try not to gag). You are fun to hang out with, tired or not! I guess I should say where you're coming from on most fronts (from the complaining to the tired to the sorry). Sadly, I neglect my far away friends the most. : (

Miss Scarlet said...

Ditto...and it's easier with you and Steven because you understand the tiredness or the lack of motivation to go out for 4930249302 hours. I guess I feel badly because my "far away" friends aren't always really far away.

Serena said...

I really do understand and actually feel bad for you sometimes...like I shouldn't say "let's go out". Maybe it's that I feel bad for your friends that are quasi-far away and want them to have Scarlet time, too.

Miss Scarlet said...

I was going to say that I hope now with less BN it will be different but now I have class, haha. Ah well!