Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Thief Of Hearts

With the beginning of February tomorrow comes the overload of pink. Of love. Of heart shaped boxes of candy. Of last minute bouquets of flowers in the grocery store. Of, "Do you have a Valentine?" It's this weird time of year when everyone turns soft and wants to be the couple in a Nicholas Sparks novel. Actually, I have never read a Nicholas Sparks book and the only movie I have seen is The Notebook but hey, that was pretty freaking romantic, right? But this is beside the point.

I want to say I don't fall prey to the craziness that is VDay but I guess I do a little bit. I, of course, would love to receive flowers at work from someone and do get a little jealous when other people in the office do. But really, if they came from my mom I would be ecstatic, I just want attention and don't care who it is from. Sure, a secret admirer or (even better) an out in the open admirer would be awesome but it's not something I tie directly to February 14th. Besides, my birthday is a few days later (17th!) and if you really want to know the way to my heart, it's to send me flowers on THAT day! Cupid ain't got nothing on Scarlet!

Monday, January 30, 2006


I am in a clothing rut. Right now I am "that girl"-the one with the overflowing closet and nothing to wear. I have no fewer than 10 subscriptions to fashion magazines and yet every day I am wearing something boring.

I blame a few things:

1. This crappy warm weather
2. My office that starts off freezing and gets to be quite warm in the afternoon making it quite difficult to wear my layers
3. Getting up ass early
4. Often having to wear the same thing all freaking day (if I could, I would change half way through the day. I get sick of wearing the same thing and/or uncomfortable)

Winter is my bitch. It is when I get to make use of my plethora of clothes because I can wear three shirts at a time. I like to wear scarves all day. I like to be cold even though I am wearing wool. I like to take mini fashion risks when I can also wear a cardigan to offset the craziness.

But lately? Lately I have been wearing the same boring outfits over and over. It's just been too annoying in the early mornings to put together something more exciting. And not to mention the fact that you never know when it's going to be a balmy 60 degrees out. (HELLO, JANUARY!?)

I have high hopes for February. It's going to get cold again and I am going to get to wear my layers and be comfortable! It has to get cold again. It just has to.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Fool In The Photograph

This is very cool. I bet that would be even more interesting with a female subject.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Where You Lead

So Ali and I always talk about how we want to take a road trip and have had some ideas floating around to go to Dollywood and ‘round country’ but it just hasn’t worked out yet. So a few weeks ago we were talking about when she would go back to school and how much this unseasonably warm weather sucks when we get the idea to go to New England. And so the story begins:

We left Gainesville at 4am on January 22nd which is an ungodly hour but we had a lot to fit into a small amount of time and needed to get up north asap. Ali is used to going to sleep at 3 or 4am instead of waking up at that hour so she began our trip still up from the day before (this later was pretty funny). Our first stop was for fuel and fuel (egg McMuffins and coffeecoffeecoffee!) and then we were really on our way!

Now, the thing to know about any ride that Ali and I take together is that we take tons of pictures...and mostly of ourselves. Actually, most are of me because Ali gets bored and likes to catch me in awkward poses. So as we made our way north on 15 and were both surprisingly awake and chipper as we enjoyed Pennsylvania (love PA). I think our first stop was right outside of Allentown at a nasty little Turkey Hill for gas and el bano (ew) and then a little after at a rest stop where there was a yappy dog. After that we didn’t stop again until New Jersey where I think we went a little crazy at their rest stop because after coming out of the bathroom we both started running. And ran up and around the little path they had, almost falling as we ran down the hill, and back to the car. And we were on our way again through smell New Jersey.

Decided to have no more stops in the Garden State but were excited to drive by Parsippany which is where Daniel Laruso is from! Kept on zooming along through NJ and onto New York:

Hey Scarlet, where are we?”
I dunno!”
No, really..where are we?”
Oh, New York!”

It’s amusing to drive up there because so many of the signs direct you to New York City which we were avoiding like the plague. Not that I don’t love NYC, I do, but we had a goal of getting to Providence, RI by 2pm and “swinging” through New York City would not have helped with the goal. It’s also around this time that we got a little camera happy which is also amusing because we tend to do this while driving through unknown areas. Almost missed one exit but I am proud to say we didn’t have to turn around once on our way!

Crossed the Tappanzee Bridge was exciting because bridges and water are pretty but again, we took pictures. Halfway across the bridge I decided to drive responsibly and set my own camera down and let Ali take over. After the bridge I saw a sign for “Sleepy Hollow” which was exciting. And this picture, while very cute, is actually about the start of Ali’s exhaustion. I think I told her to grab the peanut butter M+Ms and while reaching behind my seat she nodded off on my shoulder. Ok, I kid, I’m a kidder but the poor thing was so tired! I kept telling her to go to sleep but she felt bad. I’m amazed she was awake for so long.

But then....THEN we reached CONNECTICUT!!! I was so excited. I think one of the funniest parts of the whole trip was us putting on the Gilmore Girls soundtrack and singing along to it while driving through CT. I was like a kid in a candy shop driving through that mecca-like state: pointing out road sides and buildings, hott stone bridges and signs for Yale! But CT was not our destination yet so we continued on towards RI...and Ali went to sleep.

Oh but then I stopped at the Mystic scenic stop thingy and we took some pictures and stretched. But then it was back on the speeding towards RI and Ali sleeping. This part of the trip was very uneventful and I think I spent it texting.

Okay, then we reached Providence and had directions to some random spot in the city but which turned out to be practically nonexistent and in what may have been the ghetto. There are no pictures from this part of the trip because driving there sucks and people kept honking. Apparently, the city forgot to put up road signs to let you know where you are and they also decided that markings on the road aren’t important either. But then we got smart and Ali looked at a map and helped navigate us to Brown University where we took pictures, were cold, and felt smart. We were also STARVING but had no idea where to eat and after driving around for a millisecond we decided to escape from Providence and head out.

So since my original plan had been to stay the night in Providence and then head to Mystic in the morning we had a decision to make: head to Mystic then or take the “long” way and see more stuff. Needless to say we took the long way and got to see more places including Fall River, MA which was conveniently across the bridge that served as our escape from Providence. It was interesting to see where Steven had grown up (did you grow up there?) and I was amazed by how “New Englandy” the houses all looked. I was also envious of their close proximity to the water. We weren’t there long though because we had no idea where to go and were still starving and kept finding ourselves in residential areas with no restaurants. I was disappointed to leave so soon though as I wanted us to buy “We <3 Fall River” sweatshirts to wear around Steven upon our return. We might still make some.

Ali went to sleep and I took over as both driver and map girl which was interesting and I’m still not sure how we made it. Oh, I forgot to mention that I was still photographer at this point, too, while she rested her eyes. We drove for what seemed like forever (but was only about 20 miles) and I was so worried we would read the end. Like, the end of land and we would hit water and have to turn around. But we didn’t, we reached Newport, RI! A cute little town that I would like to spend more time in. Especially after seeing the parts over by the water on our way out after eating cheeseburgers at an internet cafĂ© place.

It was only about 5 or so then which I couldn’t believe since only about 12 hours ago we had been in Virginia. I’m still amazed by how much we did in such a short amount of time. Ali again passed out a little and I decided to take the “scenic route” towards Mystic, CT because it went by Watch Hill, RI (?) and that was one of the places Katherine said to go to. I didn’t really see any of it because I was driving and it was dark but it was still good to be near it.

Mystic Pizza
was obviously our goal for dinner Sunday night but my tendency to see things when tired made the quest pretty amusing. We were about 3 miles from actual downtown Mystic when I exclaim, “MYSTIC PIZZA!” and start to pull into this parking lot. Ali starts laughing and says, “It’s Mystic PLAZA, Scarlet!” And so began the joke of me saying everything was Mystic Pizza and her correcting me. “Mystic Pizza!” “No, it’s Mystic Tire and Auto, Scarlet!” It was funny, I swear. We did finally make it to Mystic Pizza after getting the cheapest AND most comfortable hotel ever (love you, Comfort Inn!) Pizza was was GOOD but against Ali’s hopes I did not get wasted because I was too tired and full.

Monday came and after getting some coffeecoffeecoffee at the continental breakfast and cursing the rain, we went down the main strip of Mystic to do a little shopping. Got more coffeecoffeecoffee and sent off postcards (if you didn’t get one, sorry but I didn’t have my address book) then bought out the Army/Navy store and picked up a few CDs at the used CD store with the guy who hated us. Maybe he was jealous of our good taste: Alanis Morissette, GNR Lies and Q Best of 2000!

And then...we were!!!!!!!!! Got to New Haven, CT at noon or so and made our way to a Starbucks to refuel. Now, I’m not sure how to relay how excited I was to see Yale. Words would not do it justice and really, you would think I am crazy for loving a place I have nothing to do with. But I do (love it) and was ecstatic to be there. So ecstatic I made Ali pose for a picture in a Yale bathroom. One of the coolest things that happened was realizing that Yale bookstore is a Barnes and Noble and them telling me I could use my discount. This happened on the bookstore side and Ali got a book and I picked up some notebooks. There was a little confusion at the checkout because of what numbers they use for the discount but it worked so we headed to the clothing bookstore to try our luck there. And guess what-35% off Yale merch!!!!! The guy who rang us up was super weird and seemed suspicious of us, asking, “You’re a Yale employee?” to which I answered, “In Virginia” which makes no sense but when my number worked he had to let it go. 35% is more than I get off for books in a regular BN, it was so awesome!

2pm finally came and we had to race to find a parking spot to get to the visitor’s center for the tour. Unfortunately, New Haven hates all coins except for quarters and we had a hell of a time finding enough for parking. In fact, we only found two and began our tour with only 40 minutes of time on our side. Oh and also, I had forgotten to lock the doors so right before the tour started I had to sprint (yes) to the car, lock it, and return to rejoin the group. The tour, though, was really good and our tour guide was cute, “in that Yale way” as Ali said. It was awesome to learn about how history had influenced certain things and to also get to go inside some of the residential colleges. I totally loved Branford the best;) (GG!) My favorite part of the tour was when he told us about this crazy architect who brought over stones from Ireland for the courtyards floor. Upon hearing this, my Scottish arse quickly stepped off of the stones as I knew Ali would laugh. She did laugh but not for the same reason...she pointed out the two Irish girls in our group and while trying not to laugh, I stuck the tip of my shoe back onto the Irish stones in a gesture of peace;)

The tour ended (=/) and we found our car sans ticket and headed off to find Pepe’s Pizza. “Look, Pepes!” “No, Scarlet, “Popeyes!” hahaha. Pepe’s is in fact, some AWESOME pizza but it was totally intimidating to order. You don’t get menus and the waitress was like, “What do you want?” and I think she chuckled at our Pepe’s inexperience. But the pizza was hella good and so worth it. However, after eating that much pizza in two days we decided every other meal would so not be pizza.

We again had a decision to make: stay in New Haven or move on to Hartford. We decided to move on which turned out to be a good decision as we never would have had enough time to get lost in Hartford, CT had we gone on Tuesday instead. We got a hotel in East Hartford which for the nice price of $59 got us a double bed. It was a nice enough room but after the comfort of the last night, it paled a little in comparison. Famine had set in again so we started trying to figure out what to do for dinner. Ali wanted Chinese but mixed with my hesitancy to try new places we ended up having to abandon that idea. Japanese was out because they were all fairly far away and the other places we called seemed to all be closing at 9pm. We decided to just go driving and find something (always a great idea, right?;) and on our way out of the hotel we picked up a menu for a Chinese place and headed there. That didn’t quite work out and after leaving that area of town we got quite frustrated trying to find an on-ramp for the Interstate to take us to West Hartford where we knew a mall and restaurants were. It got kind of sketchy for awhile as we kept going the same ways and even ended up, “down by the river” and I was afraid we were going to get car jacked. Hopped on a main road and just went the longer way to what I like to call, Mecca. Or Olive Garden, whichever you prefer.

Our waitress was adorable and gave us both (yes, both) wine samples and then I got a margarita and we ate a ton of food. It was the best meal ever. Then we went back to the hotel and I passed out from exhaustion because the next day was a big one...

TUESDAY = DINOSAUR STATE PARK! So, story has it that Rocky Hill, CT has real dinosaur tracks and they built a little park thing over top it. It’s a really cool place and Ali especially had a great time there. We got there at 930am or so and were the first patrons of the day and probably their best after spending some time (and $$) in the gift shop. Then we continued on south en route to Woodbury, CT which in my mind is Stars Hollow!

I think it was while driving through Danbury (or maybe Waterbury, there are a lot of ‘buries) I spotted a Barnes and Noble so we detoured to get coffee and another book for Ali. Good times.

And then...STARS HOLLOW, CT (aka Woodbury/Southbury) which, next to Yale, was the highlight of the trip for me! These towns are so freaking adorable and I made Ali take 43920 pictures as I drove through town a couple of times. Ali then spotted a diner and we just HAD to eat at a diner so we went in. Yum, it was extra good and the coffeecoffeecoffee was just right! Was fun to be in what was obviously the town place to eat and see the people all mingling with each other.

I was sad to leave Connecticut but also knew we had a wicked long drive ahead of us so at about 1 or so we were on our way south again. The ride home was definitely not as easy as the ride up. We hit a little bit of traffic in stupid New Jersey and had a little confusion around the I287 area as we tried to make sure we weren’t headed towards NYC. Ali threatened to kill me and drive my car home if I tried to go that way. PA also felt like a million years and then we missed a road and the detour way felt like a million years. It was weird though because we kept seeing places and things we recognized from our many family vacations to PA. Finally, FINALLY made it home at about 8pm or so.

I love CT...I want to live there.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006


I'm back. I'm mentally/physically/emotionally exhausted, but I'm back from a whirlwind trip through southern New England. I had an awesome time and promise to do a big update tomorrow but for now...I'm so tired I'm about to cry. Thanks for bearing with the audioblogs-I knew I talked fast but my goodness! It's wonder if you could understand anything I said.

this is an audio post - click to play
this is an audio post - click to play

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Pretty Woman

WE ARE IN MYSTIC, CT! Resting up in are AWESOME and cheap hotel before going out for pizza. I'm glad I brought my laptop (to upload digital pictures) because this place has free wireless and I love to use free wireless whenever I can.

It has been an incredibly long day and for my own memory, I will recap:
+left VA at 4am and headed north on 15 for like, 5 hours or something
+We saw the sun rise
+continued on through PA, New Jersey, and New York until we reached Connecticut which was VERY exciting!
+Enjoyed the stone bridges on the Merritt Parkway and imagined colored, autumn leaves on all of the trees
+made it to Providence, RI at about 12:30pm and got lost and confused in what must be the weird part of town.
+got very annoyed at Providence's lack of clear road markings and horrible drivers
+found Brown University and took pictures and were cold (yay!)
+tried to go back to downtown Providence for food but ended up on some other road so we followed it to MA
+somehow made our way to Newport, RI and ate hamburgers
+continued on south to Rt 1 and I took the scenic route along the coast while Ali slept (she didn't sleep at all last night!)
+Pretended I went to Watch Hill but instead kept going to Mystic, CT which is where we are now.

Tomorrow we're going to walk around Mystic and then head to New Haven to see YALLLEEEEEEEEEEE! More audioblogs to come;)

XO! Keep in touch;)
this is an audio post - click to play

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Plan A

FYI I'll be audioblogging from the road. Don't make fun of us.

I need to calm down and relax so I can go to sleep soon. I'm way too jittery and excited right now but we are LEAVING in less than 6 hours and I need to get sleep. Ali's going to try to get me to take Nyquil, haha, but I am scared because that stuff is STRONG and I don't want to be groggy in the AM. Good thing I got up earlyish today (830, that's early for me).

I left my (current) favorite sweater at home which disappoints me because I wanted to wear it at Yale! I hope my (current) second favorite does the job.



Distance Equals Rate Times Time

I am totally "That girl" right now in Barnes and Noble. I've been here for hours, hogging a large table and working on my laptop. I haven't purchased enough, especially with my 50% employee discount, to warrant taking up this space for so long but I am doing it anyway. I like my location as I can see everyone who comes in and can monitor the parking lot but really those are just things to distract me from my work. Earlier I kept looking off into the distance while trying to remember "big words" for my essay and realized I probably looked like I was staring. But then I got annoyed at this old man because he would glance over everytime I looked up. I wonder if anyone is watching me right now how I so often watch others. This thought always interests me. It's like when I notice when certain people work or who they're seen with-do people notice that about me? If energy cannot be created nor destroyed then shouldn't every crush I have on someone else be reciprocated in my favor? Who out there is staring at me while I stare at someone else.

I really should get back to my work...

Friday, January 20, 2006

Road Trippin'

Life is extremely hectic and boring, all at the same time. The overview:

+Road Trip to Connecticut/Massachusetts Sunday-Tuesday with Ali (sister). We have a jam packed 3 days planned and I am very excited to see Yale, Providence, Mystic, and a few other mystery locations. We have a lot of fun things planned for the ride including coffeecoffeecoffee, the music game, and taking tons of pictures.

+Homework for my stupid classes. I am feeling okay about them both except that I have no idea about plans and the jargon they throw around. But in my tech class last night I was definitely one of the more advance ones, computer-wise, in there. Phew!

+Orchestra concert soon. I still am having to transpose (as I play) half the concert. My choices are a) find an A clarinet to use b) transpose the piece in my spare time or c) continuing as I am but accepting that there are some parts I won't be able to play in the concert because I can't think that fast. It's like if you were reading something but every letter was one off. Does this make sense: j mpwf qvqqjfst! When I play an A clarinet part I have to look at the notes but think they are something else. It's difficult. (By the way, it said "I love puppies!")

+Less than a month until my birthday.

I guess those are the main things. I definitely have other things on my mind though which will, of course, make everything else seem more stressful.

Just realized this post is all links. Nice.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Catch Me When I Fall

I have a pretty constant and active imagination and all through the day I imagine how different scenarios might go. When I go to the symphoney I imagine the conductor being unable to finish and me stepping on the podium, grabbing the baton and finishing the concert with a flourish! When I go hear my brother spin records at a club I imagine then asking if anyone wants to try it out, and when I try I am amazing and everyone says I am a natural. When I think about ice skating I always imagine myself stepping onto the ice and not only being graceful but knowing how to spin and jump. There is one constant hiccup I have to my daydreaming about situations: I cannot picture myself doing gymnastics. I can do anything else in my own mind but try as I might I can't get my brain to let me land a round off double twist falafel blump jump.

Ok ok...Why am I telling you this? Besides to further affirm suspicions that I am off my rocker, it is because I was just daydreaming about another situation and it fell apart right at the climactic part (not THAT kind of climax, thank you). It's like if you were engaged and trying to picture your wedding but when it came time to "kiss the bride" (er, groom) and your daydreaming self just started laughing or something. A little disconcerting.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006


After my first class tonight my dad said, "We're proud of you. We don't know why, but we're proud." Ha, my poor parents, I so rarely throw them a bone and give them information on my life. Usually I insist on them asking me questions which often results in me telling them they've used the day's alloted number of questions.

I didn't tell them I was moving out of Richmond until a few weeks before my lease was up and my mom finally asked the specific question. The day I took the Praxis I told them I was taking, "one of those 'after college tests'" and when I got the results I just said, "good, above average."

It's a running joke that when I tell them I'm engaged they'll say, "To who?" One time, my dad asked, "Do you have a boyfriend?" and I answered, "No, do you?" to which he laughed and said, "I get it."

I'm not really sure why I have a mental block with sharing things and it's not necessarily something I'm trying to change. I'm private, get over it.

Scattered Pictures

Seeing as how the past year has flown by, it's easy to remember back to January 2005 and it's crazy to think about how much has changed but also how much has stayed the same. It was a year ago and a day since I had started my new job and had cut back at Barnes and Noble. It was the beginning of a few months of being exhausted from working 40 hours at my 9-5 and another 25 at the bookstore. I was also going to orchestra rehearsal every Tuesday and Fredericksburg whenever I could. Since I couldn't quit either job or orchestra, Fredericksburg had to take a backseat but I think in the long run it worked out.

January 27th was Allie's birthday and I helped celebrate the occasion in Adam's Morgan helping Allie consume her free birthday drinks. I also was an (accidental) hit of the dancefloor, arm-holder, and witness to hand-holding. Since then a lot has changed but at the same time it hasn't. On so many levels and with various people.

I can't believe I've been at this job for a year. It just reminds me of other things that seemed to start a year ago and I can't believe the things that have changed and those that haven't.


Monday, January 16, 2006

Come Back

You know, it's too bad I didn't participate in "Dump Your Partner..." day yesterday for the book because then, at least, my mood would be explained today. But alas, I had no beau to dump yesterday so my stupidness today can't be blamed on that. I'm annoyed at myself though right now for not following today's task, "Test a proverb" because the one I should have followed was "Laughter is the best medicine." I've been an almost weepy girly girl all day and it's starting to irritate even me. And I'm afraid the rest of the week won't get better with the combination of rehearsal, classes, not seeing anyone, and being tired.

Quote of the day, "That makes my heart hurt!" (10 points if you know where it's from!)

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

I am counting down the minutes (17) until I can go home and lay on the couch and watch TV and try not to think about anything. (16) That totally won't happen because I will go home, sit on the couch and then obsess all night long and feel like crap. (15)And another thing, this is my last true night of freedom and that sucks so much. Tomorrow starts what will soon be a weekly routine of Tuesday=orchestra, Wednesday=class, and Thursday=class. And things keep popping up that I know right away I won't be able to do because of these stupid classes: Blog Meet Up?, Rogue Wave concert, Hilton Head??? (13), etc.

(11) (It's taking me awhile to write this, I'm not really that slow of a typer.)

I keep wanting to finish with an "I want..." paragraph here but it's now only 10 (10) minutes to go and I have no idea what I want.


Signal And Sign

Pissed off and at work today. Thanks to i-66, I have something to occupy my time for a few moments and that is JUST what I need!

Four jobs you have had:
1) lifeguard (at a few places)
2) Barnes and Noble (barista then musicseller extraordinaire)
3) Turnstyle (brother's store, I'm the 3rd employee)
4) cashier at a stupid grocery store (high school!)

Four movies you could watch over and over:
1) Garden State
2) Cruel Intentions
3) Mallrats
4) Spygame

Four places you've lived:
1) Richmond, VA
2) Fredericksburg, VA
3) Bealeton, VA
4) Vienna, VA

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1) Gilmore Girls
2) The O.C.
3) Alias
4) Lost

Four places you've been on vacation:
1) NYC
2) The O.C.
3) Florida
4) Puerto Rico

Four of your favorite foods:
1) pizza
2) americanized mexican
3) french fries
4) salad

Four places you'd rather be right now:
1) in my bed
2) in someone else's bed
3) Greece
4) the Australian Open

Four sites I visit daily:
1) gmail
2) LJ friends list
3) blogger
4) cnn

Four Bloggers you are tagging:
1) Serena
2) Allie
3) Anna
4) Ali

Today blows. There will probably be more later.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Steady As The Rain

I am happy for the New England road trip that will be occurring next week at this time. Happy is probably the understatement of the week as I am ecstatic for a few reasons:
1. road trips with Ali are THE BEST
2. New England
3. cold weather (or, if not, we're staying there until it is)
4. Yale
5. sweatshirts, hehe
6. no work for a few days
7. getting away from complicated things
8. coffeecoffeecoffee

In other news, I'm in a weird mood. I'm happy and having a good time with my sister watcihng movies, eating takeout, and making sure she's okay from the accident, but at the same time there's the part in the back of my mind that is on the verge of tears. I was joking earlier today at work that maybe if I cried it would help my case for leaving early (I left a few hours early to be with Ali so she wouldn't be alone). A coworker said that at the moment she would be all fake tears and I agreed but realized that if I let myself out of the compartmentalized callous me (exaggeration, of course) then I would probably turn into a burbling girly girl. Ugh!!! It's stupid.

I think I'm going to go to sleep...even though it brings tomorrow quicker and I, unlike the majority of America, have to go to work tomorrow.

Saturday, January 14, 2006


I had a post planned but then I had a scare and had to check out all of the rooms while holding a knife. No intruders, thank goodness, but now I'm just too tired, in so many ways, to put words together to mean anything. And I would probably end up saying something and not disguising it enough.


Oh man, and talk about freaking out: I was just about to hit "post" when my sister calls to tell me she's been in an accident. If there's anything to make a mentally/physically/emotionally tired person almost freak out it's when you hear, "really bad car accident". She's ok, thank God, but her JCrew jacket ripped:( (And no, it wasn't her fault and she wasn't driving.)

Spy vs. Spy

Even though I am tired and just got up at 8am on a Saturday, I AM ECSTATIC FOR TODAY! A couple of friends and I are headed to DC to participate in the spygame. Anyone who knows me even a little bit would know that I am obsessed with all things spy so today is like my Christmas! I hope we win.

I'm in charge of the fold out DC map.


Street Spirit (Fade Out)

I had fun tonight.

A random (yet not random at the same time) group of us went out to play pool, have some drinks and generally enjoy the evening. The thing about going out with a group like that and to places like that, is that it's not everyone's scene the whole time. Some people enjoy playing pool while others sit contently, waiting for the next activity. Some have their best time dancing at the bar and then sort of wind down the rest of the evenig. The reason we go out like that is to enjoy each other's company while still participating in the world. It's the interactions and experiences that make an evening like tonight's enjoyable.

It's late, but not too late. I have to get up early, but not too early. I spent money, but not too much money. And I hope we have a new friend. Nice.

Good night...

This song makes me sad but at the same time, I love it so much it makes my happy.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Indoor Living

I think the thing I miss most about, wait I need to rephrase that:

One of the few things I miss about college is living amongst my friends. I lived in the dorms all four years and got so used to living with a friend, being in the same building as friends, being on the same campus as friends, and living in the same town as friends. It was so easy to just hang out and I miss that so much now. Even for friends who didn't live on campus it was never more than a 20 minute drive away. My friends were accessible.

I have really good friends now but it can be so hard to see them enough. We do fun things but it's not always that casual, hang-out type of thing that I guess I am missing. The thing is, though, that I'm not always up for the casual hang out which is another problem. I think that a lot of that problem is my lack of personal living space. If I had an apartment in the area I would totally be up for people dropping by or hanging out, coming over for dinner, etc. But while I want to be the hostess, I don't always want to be the visitor.

Anyway, just some current thoughts that I *can* post on here-if you know what I mean:)

Speed On The M9

Sometimes the speed of my typing scares me. I just wrote an email and it was typed and sent before I even realized what I was saying.


Haven't Been This Happy

One of my favorite lines from a song is, "Haven' been this happy in minutes" from the Hey Mercedes song of the same name. Last night, for some reason, I was having one of those moments where I kept thinking of happy thoughts and I was only focused on the positive. It was awesome. I was laying in bed, reading Harry Potter (6), and everything just seemed so great: getting to bed before midnight, almost the weekend, a few pre-weekend plans, awesome Friday and Saturday plans, good communication that night, Lost was good, my bed was uber comfortable, etc.

It was just go to sleep and instead of using the time to try to figure things out, I was just reflecting on them and feeling good about it all.

Oh and I did not apply to be in an orgy yesterday. I think it costs money so no thanks.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I'll Be Good For You

In book news I drew a picture of a flower yesterday and left it on a stranger's car. I don't have any money to buy real flowers and by the time I had free time it was like 9pm and too late to try to find flower AND a stranger, etc. Today I was supposed to boycott something that hasn't been boycotted before-I chose the front row. So tonight, at my orientation, I sat in the very back row. Then, for the tech training I sat in the middle row (only because I was trying to make an effort and was probably already labeled, "That girl on the cellphone.")

I felt bad when I stopped by my house for pizza and Gilmore Girls (!!!) because my parents were asking me about my classes or something and I guess it came off that I didn't want to tell them about it. But what they didn't understand is that I don't really like talking about it with anyone, not just them. I explained that talking about it only reminds me of the work I will soon have to do and I am not looking forward to it. I tried to make an effort by showing them my new student ID but they didn't see it as the big gesture I meant it to be. I was trying to say (without words, of course), "Here, I am showing you something that is a part of what you are interested in because I don't really want to talk about the real part." (I am insane, I know.) The gesture I would be happy to receive in return would be something involving money, to help pay for it. Ha!

Speaking of gestures, it's interesting how relationships with people are influenced by the gestures from each side. I like to think I am perceptive to my surroundings and notice the little things that go on. This is a blessing and a curse at the same time. I can foresee a situation and be prepared for it based on piecing together the little clues but on the flip-side, I tend to think small (and most likely, unintentional) gestures mean more than they probably do. This usually is a situation that arises with the opposite sex since their intentions are more often less obvious. With a female, it's much more they want to be friends? or not be friends? (or maybe lesbian lovers but since I, in the charming words of Serena, am "strictly dickly," this intention doesn't find me often...or ever really.) I digress...With a male there seem to be 4932049320.4 different intentions: not friends, friends, good friends, acquaintances, friends with benefits, more than friends, etc. And if we all aren't going to participate in "Say What You Feel Day" then a lot is going to be gauged by gestures so you can see why I am interested in this...

Monday, January 09, 2006

A-List Actress

What if Barnes and Noble is a microcosm for the world?

Ok, stop screaming. It's funny, really. The word "microcosm" entered my thoughts earlier tonight on my drive home and it made me laugh because it's a word my friend in high school seemed to use a lot. She influenced me a lot and while we aren't more than acquaintances now, she was such a large part of my life in high school that she definitely enters my mind now and then.

But I digress. What if Barnes and Noble, and the relationships it breeds, is a microcosm for the world? There are the guys and girls who are always in a relationship. They fall right into them and before we verify they've been on a date, they are exclusive. How and when did that happen? There are the good-time-guys and girls who probably read Cosmo (and the men's equivalent?) for the Kama Sutra section and not the fashion articles like I do. They aren't the ones who always have a steady guy or girl but they are the ones who are out there and (please don't give me details) getting some. There are the ones who seem to look from afar but never dip their toes into the pool for reasons not always obvious. There are the quiet ones on break who unknowingly spark interest and conversation. Are they the same ones looking from afar or maybe they're even in the first group of those who are perpetually attached. The "Prom" king and queen, or those who, with a nod of the head could probably have anyone they wanted. And of course we have the young, the old, the married, and the (hopefully) asexual.

I don't mean for this to be taken seriously (that BN is a microcosm) because relating BN to anything outside of BN is scary and disturbing. And I don't think I named my own group but it is definitely not the perpetually attached or "Prom" queen (although that's just because not everyone has realized my hottness yet.)

Anyway, it was an interesting thought.

Another One Bites The Dust

It is difficult, when angry or frustrated or upset or any other negative emotion, to not give the person causing those emotions a taste of their own medicine. Remembering one's own character and not allowing actions of other's to cause a change in how you would normally act. What I want to do is be a bitch.


Sunday, January 08, 2006

Love's Lost Guarantee

It's those songs that I listen to over and over. I don't even put them on repeat because I start it over before it has even begun because I already want to listen to it again. When I want the volume so loud that the song encapsulates me while I drive. I've gone months before even venturing on past a song like this to hear the rest of the album. "Modern World" is one of those songs. "Love's Lost Guarantee" is another.

Love comes like a Kennedy curse

Much like I am not an extreme introvert or an extreme extrovert, there are other "gray areas" to me as well. As soon as I feel a desire to declare myself a loner, I realize that I am not a loner. As much as I enjoy being alone sometimes, there are other times when all I want is companionship. I declare that I don't need definite answers but then I find myself getting annoyed with ambiguity and the unknown. I hate to talk on the phone but then I find myself willing the phone to ring. I don't depend on other's to make me happy but then there's that time when someone can really upset/hurt me.

I mean, I'm glad to have gray areas but sometimes it can be confusing, even to myself.

Fear And Loathing On Cape Cod

Two days ago I was supposed to marry Jonas, the "guinea pig" of the 365 day book, who completed every task last year. Seeing as how this year one of the tasks is "Cannibalism," I'm not sure I'd be too terribly excited to marry him. I was going to put up a personal ad aimed towards him but I'm sure some psycho girl looking ot be the next person to complete every task actually went and found him and proposed. Oh well.

Yesterday I was to emigrate to New Zealand. New Zealand doesn't appeal to me too much but I did get antsy to move to New England as I did research for an upcoming road trip there. My plan had been to look up plane tickets and then not be able to buy any since I am poor right now. But I didn't, I wasn't in the mood to do anything strenuous and yes, going to would have been enough to annoy me last night. Instead, I watched the Redskins win, ate a salad, and worked on my book...

Which works out nicely for today's task: "Write A Bestseller Today." First, I will be SELLING bestsellers today so that has to mean something and then I can come home and work more on my book which is sure to be a hit.

Long day ahead of me. 10-6 at Hell. Hope the hott coworkers work.

Friday, January 06, 2006

A Dozon Roses

I am watching this amazing ballet set to Beethoven's 7th Symphoney on some random art channel. It's gorgeous-not only the music (love the 7th) but also the choreography. Lots of attitude positions and flexed feet, I love it. I took dance for a long time (not long enough for any gracefulness to stick though) and enjoy watching it still.

Serena and I babysat Cordelia tonight and it was so much fun, kids can be so adorable.

(OK, changed channels because it was opera and the next artsy channel is an old concert of Simon and Garfunkel...mmm!)

Anyway, Cordelia is adorable and we taught her to say the following words: blog and boo. She also took a liking to Serena's sidekick and Diet Coke which was exciting.

Interesting conversation on the ride back after eating way too much food at Mike's American Grill. (Somehow I turned uber talkative tonight.) It's amazing how so many little things can turn into what seem to be clues and how much they can all be analyzed. Also wondering how people act around different groups and which parts of themselves do they bring out around those different people. What do other groups of friends think about current groups and how do people appear from the outside, looking in. For example, if I were to hang out with my high school group of friends they would probably be in shock from how much I've changed. I'm still sarcastic and funny, but I'm a lot more talkative and outwardly confident and they would probably be surprised at how much I flirt (haha). But would I try to downplay any of that? Would I try to act more like the "high school Scarlet" around them? And what would they think about my more recent groups of friends who have probably made an impact on the type of person I am now? Or, if someone from five years ago looked at my Fotki, what conclusions would they possibly make about how I am now?

I find this fascinating.

P.S. In case you haven't noticed, every title is a song. I suggest you google them because they are all really good. Especially this one, my favorite Braid song.

Bullet With Butterfly Wings

My dad won a BB gun at his work's Christmas Party and I've been bugging him to let me try it. I know it's JUST a BB gun but I've never shot something and really wanted to. Last weekend there were 39432423432423432.4 birds in our backyard so I grabbed the gun. Ok, I didn't shoot any birds even though I do think birds are disgusting. I first aimed for the shed in our backyard-easy target- got it! Tried again and had success-two in a row! Then my dad threw a can out in the yard for me to aim for. My first instinct was to aim through the wood columns of the porch but realized since this was only my second shot ever my aim might not be the best. The thought of a bullet ricocheting (?) and getting lodged in my face or something was enough for me to decide to aim from another angle. But the porch was wet and I wasn't wearing shoes. Plus, my mom pointed out that I, "looked really into it" and I got embarassed. So, two shots in to my BB shooting career and I quit.

(I still want to go to the shooting range, though!)

Thursday, January 05, 2006


I was eatting carrots and my sister said, "EW! That one looks like a finger!", I ate it. Therefore, I am a cannibal.

(Day 5)

Killing A Camera

Photo Contest #3

1. This time, you may enter as many photos as you want.
2. You must give your photo(s) a title.
3. All photos entered will be placed on my Fotki site.
4. The winner will be determined by three blind judges. The judges won't be blind, no, no that would be silly...but you won't know them and they won't know you. They will probably be people like, my coworkers, or my mom, maybe my pimp if he's free.
5. Photos will not only be judged on interpretation of theme but also on technique and overall appearance of the photo.
6. All entries are due to me (via email preferably ) by 19 January 2005 at midnight. I will then post the pictures online Friday and the winners will be announced shortly after that.
7. The theme for Photo Contest #3 is....SECRETIVE!

Feel free to ask me questions.


Bad Medicine

I was telling my sister yesterday about a conversation I overheard where I learned that someone roughly my age had a boyfriend about 20 years older. We both were a little grossed out and then my sister laughed and said how based on the girl we assumed the guy was skeevy and probably greasy but that if I had a boyfriend who was 46, or so, that he would be cool and buy me things. Don't get me wrong, I definitely don't want to be with someone 20 years older (or even 10, I think) but imagine the situation of me having some boyfriend who offers to buy me the entire JCrew catalogue or pays for trips to New York to see musicals. Maybe you had to be there but it was a very funny moment and thought we had.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Take Care

Ali (my sister) just made me the best dinner ever! Chicken fettucine alfredo, brocolli, and caesar salad. It was SO good! (Glad for leftovers!)

Today was obedience day. I did so-so. I didn't interact with many people while at work today and was quite distracted by the intense pain in my shoulder so it wasnt very exciting, book-wise. I managed to write an email to Serena containing no "d"s and also did not accept change uner 30 cents because I paid with exact change at Starbucks. I tried to go 36 mph but that would actually have been reckless driving in this neighborhood and since I'm housesitting, I decided not to break the law too badly.

I didn't feel very changed today but that's probably because I didn't obey everything in the book. But you know what? That goes along with my character...Hate rules.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Show And Tell

Ok so today according to the book I'm supposd to promote the book today. How's this, if you go to your local Barnes and Noble you can get the book for 50% off! It's going to be a lot of fun going through the book all year and you just knowwww you want to participate! Join the club, everyone's doing it!

OK, In other news, I am packing up to go to the housesitting house tomorrow after work. When I pack I tend to take all of the clothes I rarely wear because I think it's the perfect opportunity for them. I'm not sure why I do this, it's kind of funny.

No One Sees You Like I Do

I starting wondering yesterday, while complaining about someone else, if I make it easy to be my friend. I was wondering if in fact I am a hypocrite for complaining about someone else when maybe I am at fault for some things, too.

I know my faults: I don't committ to plans all of the time, when I am tired all I want to do is sleep (aka not go out), I am selfish with my time, I am bad at initiating phone calls, I am bad at returning phone calls, I can become distant when things feel off or someone is too close or I start to feel dumb about something (most often #3)...

I also know my strengths: I am VERY good at returning emails and texts, once I'm there I usually don't care what we do, I think I am generally very pleasant to be around, etc. blah blah.

Sometimes I do wish there were a few of me to be able to keep in touch with everyone. I feel bad having to say no to some people when they must think I'm dissing them to be with others. I'm not, at this point though, with 2 jobs and living at least 30 minutes from anyone, I tend to participate in activities that either work around the jobs or are with my friends who also feel like zombies from 1 too many jobs. And of course that's not to lessen friendships with those people, of course. Basically, I'm not dissing anyone but want to clarify that, if I could, I would dedicate a night to everyone because I do want to be a good friend to everyone.

But, in the meantime, until I magically have lots of free nights and require less sleep, just know that everyone means something to me....(vomit, cheesy).

***Wow, this took quite the turn from me wanting to complain about some people not making enough effort to me apologizing for being too tired to be fun...ahaha!

The Rest Will Follow

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Um, I was in 10th grade I think. So, school, band, winter guard, tennis, etc. Today would have been the first day back after winterbreak-blah!

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Getting ready to have the interview for my current job and working at BN, barf.

Five snacks I enjoy
anything Ali bakes
kettle chips
chips and salsa
french fries

Five songs to which I know all the lyrics
Basket Case- Green Day
Losing My Religion- REM
Disarm- Smashing Pumpkins
Everlong- Foo Fighters
We Looked Like Giants- DCFC

Five things I would do if I were a millionaire
pay off stuff like student loans, credit card, car, etc.
buy a bassoon
travel Europe and Russia
buy parents a house in St. Maartin
invest in brother's store

Five bad habits
I never put things all the way away the first time
making faces
not getting gas until the gas light comes on
don't wash my face before bed
I can't throw away magazines

Five things I like doing
watching movies/tv
playing clarinet
being random

Five things I would never wear, buy or get new again
turtleneck shirts (sweaters are fine)
K Swiss shoes
applique anything
white pants

Five favorite toys

So here's the deal: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot:
me vs. rut
ala carter

Then select five people to tag

I was going to "tag" people I don't really know but didn't want them to think I'm weird:)

Well Read

So, in addition to having a few moments as my alter ego, Jesus (accent in there of course), I also fulfilled my day's task by reading a line or two from the Bible. We were cleaning up the bookstore and a Bible was sitting there so I went with the moment and found a part in red to read aloud. I considered reading it over the intercom system but had a brief flash of the future and me being sued for something like forcing religion on people so I just yelled it loudly.

I think tomorrow's (today's) task is boring.

So tired though...and I have to get up in 5 hours!?

Monday, January 02, 2006

Jesus Online

Day 2 in the book that will change my life. I am supposed to claim to be Jesus all day but I feel a little weird doing that so instead I will place an accent over the "e" (or is it the "u"?) and speak in Spanish all day as (phonetically:) Hay-Zeus. Soy de Mexico! No quiero trabajar hoy! Pienso que Barnes y Noble es horrible y lo odio! Mi espanol no es bien...

In other's becoming a new pet peeve with people who just don't "get it." Maybe pet peeve is too strong because it doens't cause feelings of hate or extreme dislike but it does incite frustration. As a bad example, it's when I complain to someone about having to work at Barnes and Noble and instead of agreeing with me, they try to find the positive in the situation. They don't "get it" that at that moment I am not looking for the positive, but just need to complain. I have other examples but will maybe keep those to myself for now.

I am disappointed though that my big day off today is cut extremely short by the damned shift at BN. I guess it's good that I won't have to work any other nights this week, or Saturday but it's just feeling very unfair I can't enjoy an entire day off!

(Note: I realize I'm being a wuss about this and that I do get other days off but this is a paid vacation day and I had planned to spend it doing nothing! And it was just quite the shock to find out yesterday that I had to work tonight-I got my days mixed up-probably wishful thinking.)

Sunday, January 01, 2006


No no, we're WINNERS here! Winners of the internet:

ARC: "gmail is fucking up and it makes me murderous." In an email to me, 9 June 2006

ARC: "i hope my future husband likes to exercise, bc he is going to need it with all the baking..." In an email to me, 26 June 2006

Serena: " I hope I never have a two-headed anything. It will be hard to love." In an email to me, 17 July 2006


Scarlet (Anna said I won!): "i hope they rent it to a UK-based male modeling company." In an email to Anna, 4 August 2006

Steven: "HAHAHAHHA How many times have we had a conversation about how much we hate shaking hands?" In an IM to me, 3 September 2006

Steven: " is a scenario for you to ponder: While you are watching tennis and listening to Scottish music, your doorbell rings. Although annoyed you have to leave the match to answer it, all is forgotten when you see through the peephole that it's Brad Pitt walking a puppy called Calculus. As you open the door, Brad says, "Let's go kick some seventh grade cunt ass. But after that, we have to hurry to the airport because I have tickets for us to Connecticut. Oh, and here's a venti iced caramel macchiato from Starbucks." Once in Connecticut, Brad takes you shopping at Yale, several music stores for the instruments of your choice, J. Crew, and burns down three Barnes and Nobles along the way."In an email to me, 18 September 2006 (Yes, I'm very late posting it, but it made my day so it still deserves to win.

  • Scarlet: there's nothing i want a phd in

    Steven: PhD in fall fashion

    Scarlet: phd in LAYERS

    Scarlet: or PUPPIES

    IMing 12 November 2006

Senor: Beavis: Can anyone besides Steven win the Internet?Just wanted to know so I can adjust my level of effort accordingly.

Senor Beavis, in a comment to me 16 November 2006

Serena: "It's really sad when I look forward to being able to go to the back and pull my wedgie out of my butt."

Serena in an IM to me, 3 December 2006

"i couldn't cut out the word "cunt" with government scissors..."Allie in an email to me, 3 January 2007

"enjoy your cunt book there's a phrase I never thought I'd ever say"
Matt in an gmail chat to me, 19 January 2007

"APA can be fun in a geeky way. It was always my favorite part of papers."
Steven in an email to me, 4 April 2007

"you probably already are!" Dorian, in an email response to me saying I want to be a cross between Rory and Lorelai on 8 May 2007

"and we talked about my issues with sex and tennessee " A friend, in an AIM to me on 21 May 2007

"like tiger-maul that ho" Ali in a gmail chat to me. 27 June 2007

"that is pure gold. pure, satanical, gold. i love you." Ali in an email to me, 9 July 2007

"My doormat says 'leave'." Serena in an email to me, 1 August 2007

"i dont wanna get married and probably bc i know most of my clothes are not clean,ha." Me, in an email to Serena on 16 August 2007

"You'll soon become the trashy friend I look up to ;)" Serena, in a gmail chat to me on 10 September 2007

"me: i *heart* Brody Ali: who is brody? if you mean brody jenner, you're crazy" Me and Ali in a gmail chat, 17 October 2007

"Yeah...going out a hard decision sometimes. Would help if free and could teleport to comfy bed at drop of a hat and automatically get free sleep hours." Serena, to me in an IM, 3 January 2008

"There will be NO pastels at my wedding." Me, in a gmail chat to Vanessa. 8 February 2008

"I called out of work to have sex" Anonymous June 2008

I Just Wanna Live

Excited for the start of 2006 for many reasons (what, 49 days til my birthday?) but the one we will focus on today is this: This Book Will Change Your Life Again!.

365 things to do....365 days in the year. Do the math.

So today is a warm-up day, according to the book. I am to choose from the following tasks in order to change my life:

- Lose one ounce in weight (*I can do this)
-Basejump off a chair (*consider it done)
-Donate your baby teeth to science (don't have those teeth anymore)
-Save the life of an ant (If I find an ant in the middle of winter then I will definitely try to save it's life)
-Tell your deepest secret to the talking clock (talking clock?)
-Go on a one-man protest (*against Barnes and Noble? Might work but I have a feeling I'll have followers)
-Make a small dream come true (broad, and doable)
-Sow one seed of anarchy (*again, BN)
-Dye your hair it's natural color (it already is)
-Watched a different TV channel (*easy)
-Eliminate avocados from your diet (*Um, already done)
- Gamble $1 on a horse (probably won't happen)
-Write the first letter of a novel (*can do)
-Graffiti with pencil (*YES!)
-Join a sect part-time (hmmm)
-Get a microscopic tattoo (ha, I wish, remember that Friends episode?)
-Clear out your belly fluff (*ew, fluff?)
-Sexually harass yourself (pass)

Time to start Day 1. HAPPY NEW YEAR, by the way.