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Monday, October 30, 2006

I Was Meant For The Stage

Apparently, my last blog on concerts did not reach the mass audience I expected it to because last night at The Decemberists' concert at the 930 Club, I witnessed way too much annoying behavior. And somehow, this annoying behavior was happening all around me.

1. High Schoolers: Do yourself and everyone around you a favor and try not to act like you are still in high school. This includes not talking about english class, what you are going to wear to school tomorrow, as well as if your dad will know which side of the club to pick you up from*. I'm not saying you shouldn't be allowed to go to shows, but just try to act mature about it, okay? I took my younger sister to plenty of shows when she was in high school and she never acted immature.

2. Dancers: *sigh* I feel bad that I'm picking on the high schoolers again, but Lack-Of-Rhythm Girl was practically asking for it! She was doing that ridiculous 'dance' of shaking her head back and forth so her hair would swing across her face. And anytime she tried to some other sort of dance, she would flail so badly I wasn't sure she could even hear the beat anymore. I mean...just don't. Okay? Don't dance. It will be okay.

3. Copy-Cats: The band claps-they clap. The band jumps up and down- they jump up and down. The band laughs- they laugh. The band jumps off a bridge- Well...you get the idea.

4. Requesters: "I WAS MEANT FOR THE STAGE!" "PLAY THE CRANE WIFE!" The only person I like during this time of requesting songs while the band is tuning or something is the one who yells out, "PLAY SOMETHING FROM THE SETLIST!" Haha, makes me laugh every time. It's like the new Freebird. Because really, if you think about it for one second you will realize that they're changing guitars in between every song and doing other intricate instrument changes so the likelihood of them playing the song you're asking for right then is low. Now, if they ask for requests then go for it, but until then shut up, please.

5. "I just got a t-shirt!"- I know, you're wearing it. At. The. Show.

6. "This is my favorite song!"- That should only be said ONCE. Not for every song you recognize.

7. Hand-holder/puller- Every once and awhile the singer will step up onto the ledge of the stage and will often use an audience member's hand for support. When this happens do not try to pull him/her off the stage. Why would you do that? Do you think you're going to pull him/her off the stage and back home with you? Just be the support he/she needs and then LET GO.

That is all I have for now. Don't let my negativity fool you, it was an awesome show! The band play for what must have been two hours and I don't even have bad things to say about the opening band who were entertaining and only lasted 30 minutes. I will say that my feet were ready to go on strike by the end of the night since I had already put in 8 hours of standing at the bookstore earlier that day. OUCH!

XO,

SVR

*Get over it. I'm not changing my sentence to not end with "from." That's a stupid rule anyway!

9 comments:

Unknown said...

These are all awesome rules!

Cheryl said...

Go ahead and end with "from." It's ok.

Love the rules. Please distribute them in mass supply.

Senor Beavis said...

Adding to the "request rule," not only is it obnoxious to yell shit out like that, but when people yell out their most famous song, or their traditional closing song, they just sound stupid. I remember a couple years ago, halfway through a Carbon Leaf show, a couple people yelled out for "Mary Mac," which is what they'd been closing with for a while at that time, and the guitarist looked at them incredulously and said, "Do you guys WANT to go home?" Awesome.

Also, if you try to push past me at a show, you're in for a battle. People work hard to stake out their concert position, even in non-traditional spots (I'm kinda claustrophobic and won't stand in front), and people who don't respect that deserve at the very least a very well-placed elbow or shoulder block. Also earning my ire, not taking care of your beer. I'm a pretty big dude and you don't want to see my death stare after you've spilled your beer on me.

KassyK said...

Glad you had fun and the rules are VERY VERY right on. I am heading to the 9-30 club next week for an indie concert and I will post this rules on a piece of catalog paper and tape it to me. :-)

Anonymous said...

YOU GOT TO SEE THE DECEMBERISTS!

I agree with your rules. In fact, perhaps they should do a maturity screening before they sell people tickets.

minijonb said...

"PLAY SOMETHING FROM THE SETLIST!"

- I absolutely love that!

Miss Scarlet said...

Serena- haha, thanks.

Cheryl- AWesome! I hate the preposition rule.

Ant- Nah, I won't let some stupid cunts ruin my night.

Senor Beavis- haha, I agree. Or just requesting an obscure song bc it's obscure. Lame-o!

Kassyk- Haa, You should. Who are you seeing?

janet- I did! Do you like them? So goooood, right?

Minijonb- Haha, I know. So great.

Anonymous said...

Fricking awesome rules. Can I add no standing at concerts where the songs don't rock? I remember someone took me to see Tori Amos - slow show, slow songs yet the guy (GUY!) in front of us stood the whole show - until I told him to sit his ass down.

Anonymous said...

OOOH - Another concert story. I remember seeing 10,000 Maniacs in the early 90's. Natalie Merchant was dancing by the edge of the stage when someone touched her leg and she said "You forgot about the invisible line between me and you." Bitch.