Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Despite all of my school-inspired stories, my job was merely temporary and now, nine weeks after it started, I'm done. Today was my last day as the band substitute for [Insert Name Here] middlle school in [Town], VA.

I had really been looking forward to and counting down to my last day for a few weeks. I've been really tired and, as a long-term sub, I couldn't take a day off or I would lose my higher rate of pay which was NOT an option. And also, with an end in sight, it was hard to keep the momentum going. I was working in an arc* that ended October 31st which, yes, was the end of their 9 weeks, but in band class, with a concert coming up, is not a time to be ending and winding down. And kids aren't stupid. They treat subs differently and after a week or two we all got over that, but once my time was coming to a close a month and a half later, they resorted to their past behavior. I expected it so I was not taken by surprise. But knowing that I would be (ready?) handing over the baton today/tomorrow to their regular teacher, the last week or so was trying as my momentum was waning. What I'm trying to say is that while the past two months have been great and I've learned a lot, I was ready for it all to be over.

But then all those stupid kids were really adorable and gave me gifts and cards and hugs and some even made me pinky swear I would visit. Those 6th graders don't know any other band teacher so for them, it's a big change to get the 'regular' teacher back tomorrow. I'm going to miss a lot of those little boos.

I'm also going to miss my paycheck because now I feel semi-unemployed and am going to be freaking out soon once my bills start coming. I'm pissed at Barnes and Noble for being complete wankers who aren't giving me what I need.

Things I will not miss:

+Being at work by 715am.
+Announcements which make me deaf. (Does one really need to yell into the intercom system??)
+Drills (fires, bomb threats, intruder threats, tornado threats, etc. They're good bc they take up class time, but bad because it's like, "DO NOT TALK!!!!!!!" which is like fighting a war with a rubber gun.)
+Having no windows in my room/office.
+7th graders who have boyfriends in high school. (That's just wrong.)
+The crappy copy machines and the Copy Nazi
+Not being able to use sarcasm as much as I would like to.
+Not being able to say crap.

*When I was in Mr. Gredler's 9th grade World History honors class, I told him that the word "arch" is stupid and I would never use it. Just a side story for today.

Monday, October 30, 2006

I Was Meant For The Stage

Apparently, my last blog on concerts did not reach the mass audience I expected it to because last night at The Decemberists' concert at the 930 Club, I witnessed way too much annoying behavior. And somehow, this annoying behavior was happening all around me.

1. High Schoolers: Do yourself and everyone around you a favor and try not to act like you are still in high school. This includes not talking about english class, what you are going to wear to school tomorrow, as well as if your dad will know which side of the club to pick you up from*. I'm not saying you shouldn't be allowed to go to shows, but just try to act mature about it, okay? I took my younger sister to plenty of shows when she was in high school and she never acted immature.

2. Dancers: *sigh* I feel bad that I'm picking on the high schoolers again, but Lack-Of-Rhythm Girl was practically asking for it! She was doing that ridiculous 'dance' of shaking her head back and forth so her hair would swing across her face. And anytime she tried to some other sort of dance, she would flail so badly I wasn't sure she could even hear the beat anymore. I mean...just don't. Okay? Don't dance. It will be okay.

3. Copy-Cats: The band claps-they clap. The band jumps up and down- they jump up and down. The band laughs- they laugh. The band jumps off a bridge- get the idea.

4. Requesters: "I WAS MEANT FOR THE STAGE!" "PLAY THE CRANE WIFE!" The only person I like during this time of requesting songs while the band is tuning or something is the one who yells out, "PLAY SOMETHING FROM THE SETLIST!" Haha, makes me laugh every time. It's like the new Freebird. Because really, if you think about it for one second you will realize that they're changing guitars in between every song and doing other intricate instrument changes so the likelihood of them playing the song you're asking for right then is low. Now, if they ask for requests then go for it, but until then shut up, please.

5. "I just got a t-shirt!"- I know, you're wearing it. At. The. Show.

6. "This is my favorite song!"- That should only be said ONCE. Not for every song you recognize.

7. Hand-holder/puller- Every once and awhile the singer will step up onto the ledge of the stage and will often use an audience member's hand for support. When this happens do not try to pull him/her off the stage. Why would you do that? Do you think you're going to pull him/her off the stage and back home with you? Just be the support he/she needs and then LET GO.

That is all I have for now. Don't let my negativity fool you, it was an awesome show! The band play for what must have been two hours and I don't even have bad things to say about the opening band who were entertaining and only lasted 30 minutes. I will say that my feet were ready to go on strike by the end of the night since I had already put in 8 hours of standing at the bookstore earlier that day. OUCH!



*Get over it. I'm not changing my sentence to not end with "from." That's a stupid rule anyway!

Saturday, October 28, 2006


My drive home last night was especially longer than usual. This was partly due to the constant rain that lowered visibility and increased the likelihood of hydroplaning (which I seriously did a lot of despite my slower speeds.) Mostly though, much of the drive was held up by some dumb-ass drunk driver who couldn't stay in his lane and also had some problems with curves in the road.

I was in the home stretch of my drive when suddenly there was this weird hold up of cars on the road. Normally I would suspect there to be a cop up there going slower than the speed limit with a bunch of wusses refusing to pass him. (What? Is he going to pull you over for going 55 in a 55?? No!) So I made my way to the front of the pack and then saw dumb-ass. The reason we were all going about 40. He was all over the place and whenever it seemed like a good time to pick up the speed and pass him, he would veer over into my lane. Um, no thanks, but getting run off the road is not my idea of a good way to end an evening. So I kept waiting, as did everyone else, while dumb-ass kept on his merry, swerving way. Finally he slowed down enough so that I had a chance to race past him, but it was still scary as he could have over-compensated at any time and run right into me.

I saw him turn off onto another, very windy road from my rear view mirror and I can only wonder how he made it to his destination. And it sucks, because right after he turned, the rest of the traffic passed a cop hiding out in the median. So, assuming he made it home, dumb-ass got away with his death-defying trip home. I'm glad I got away with it, too!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Cold-Hearted (Snake)

I love winter. I really really REALLY love winter and cold weather. The funny thing is that I get cold really easily. The other day it was in the low 60s and I was bundled up in a down vest and a lambswool scarf. This was over top about three shirts. (It's called layering, people.) Tonight I came in from outside where it's about 41 degrees and have yet to warm up. I'm sitting on the couch in sweats, my scarf, and under a blanket*. My mom used to get worried about me in the winter because hands would always be ice cold. They just won't stay warm sometimes.

But, just like a snake, when I'm in a warm environment? I'm WARM! It must be why I hate summer so much because it's so much easier (and more attractive) to put more clothes on than to take a lot off. This is why my exception of liking summer when I'm at the beach is allowed because you're supposed to be hot at the beach. Or a pool. If you're cold at the beach or pool then you aren't going to get in, right? So I am okay with warm/hot weather when I am near the ocean or a pool, but otherwise, I think summer sucks.

Bring on the cold weather and cold hands...I hope they both last until at least April!

*In addition to shirts. I reread the sentence and didn't want anyone thinking I sat around shirtless or something.

Over And Over

What to write? What to write? What to write?

I am nearing the end of this long-term subbing position. It's kind of weird how time passed. The first month felt like a lifetime and I worried I would either die from exhaustion or from some unknown middle school disease. The second month, though, while still containing its struggles, flew by. And the reason I know it flew by is because I keep thinking, "Oh crap, I meant to do that!" and "I thought I would have more time to get to that." But there's not much I can do about it now because tomorrow is my last teaching day. I'll be in Monday and Tuesday, but they are 1/2 day exams of which I have none to administer so I'll spend the time getting everything back in order.

After that, I'm not sure how my time will be spent. Sure, I'll sub here and there, but what I really need to do is get back on track with my grad school work. Am I just really intelligent or lucky to have been getting near perfection on my assignments*? I keep worrying that one of these weeks it won't work out to do my work 2 hours before class. But really, when the choice is between reading a book about education and watching Dead Like Me-which would you choose?

So with no real point to this blog, I will end it. I'll post answers to the quiz about me from the other day later! I don't think anyone has a 100% yet! Keep trying!


*Yeah, I said it. So what?

Tuesday, October 24, 2006


Week 2 of my Gilmore Girls discussion or what could be called, “Keep it short and sweet, Scarlet.” I tend to ramble when it comes to things I like…

Serena and I were talking about how yes, Christopher is hott and they have cute chemistry, but in TV Land, Luke and Lorelai are to be together. And David Sutcliffe is still just a guest star. I know not when his time on this show ends, but this can all just be a set up for an amazing reconnection between L and L.

---Lorelai’s wearing tartan. As a spokesperson for Elle, I say “BRAVA!” (bravo? I had been told its brava for girls, but who knows.) I love GG fashion. Especially when it involves coats as Lorelai and Rory always have really good coats.

---I’m so glad that Connecticut has finally gotten caller ID. Remember the days of them answering their cell phones and actually being surprised by who was on the other line? They even made fun of it once. I can’t remember which episode.

---I never thought Rory and Logan would last. I wonder if he was in the grand scheme from the beginning or if he was a hit with the viewers so they’ve kept him. I like him a lot now, but I am still skeptical at times. Is he going to turn out to be an ass!? (again)

---EW! Gazpacho! And flan!? Nast.

---TiVo. <3!>

---OMG, that look. I totally give that look!

---“work dork”- loves it! I think I love it because I so often realize my own dorky/nerdy ways and need to find others who are the same.

---HAHAHAHA Gypsy has car fresheners around her neck because of the smell.

---Um, I wish I was Gigi’s nanny. A trip to Paris? I had a hint of an opportunity to do that once, but it never materialized past my daydreams of me gallivanting around France.

---Haha, I love the Lorelai/Rory phone conversation.


---Haha, eject button. There is one of those in my car. Ali always hits it. Speaking of Ali-Dollywood?!

---I bet Rory wishes she had taken a book with her. She used to always do that and I bet it’s a habit she misses right now.

---“Well, if I wanted to play ping pong…Well, if I wanted to play ping pong, I would kill myself.”

---I love how Emily was having such a good evening because the entire night was her talking and no one else was really all there.

Is it “And scene” or “End scene”? Anyway, that end shot was really cute of the happy family. I’m afraid my deep insight to the show just isn’t here today for two reasons: 1) I’m wicked tired and 2) I haven’t rewatched the episode…yet.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Best Of Me

A Quiz On Me, For You*:

1. Which of the following was a horoscope of mine from this week?

a. While others prefer to date strangers, you'd rather take a solid friendship to the next level.

b. Your noisy feelings could distract you from the right moment with the right person.

c. The success you have been dreaming of is virtually guaranteed as long as you maintain your sense of purpose.

2. Which of the following is NOT a class I am taking right now?

a. Educational Goals and Practices I: Elementary

b. Foundations of American Education

c. Characteristics and Education of Gifted Students

3. What is my preferred Blizzard flavor?

a. Caramel CheeseQUAKE

b. Reese's Peanut Butter Cup

c. Heath Bar

4. When in class, what role do I most often take?

a. I don't begin the discussions, but I often have an opinion that I share.

b. I'm usually not prepared for the discussion and spend my time trying not to make it obvious with my expressions that I want everyone speaking to implode.

c. I never speak in class.

5. Which of the following is a song lyric from one of my Top 3 Favorites songs ever?

a. "
I fear that you would never be every song in the world for me."

b. " and that's why i'm wondering why you had to tell me what's going on in your head"

c. " every now and every then i tend to pretend i'm not alone"

Please leave your answers in the comment section below. It's late** so I need to stop this nonsense and get to bed now. Maybe I will add more questions later.

*There is one (1) trick question. I think it only fair to tell you that up front. Or, in footnote form.
**For a teacher.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Dead Leaves And The Dirty Ground

I made an October-inspired mix that I finally burned this weekend and gave to some friends. Let me know if you want a copy.

  1. Scarecrow- +/-
  2. Dead Leaves And The Dirty Ground- The White Stripes
  3. Trees (Hallway Of Leaves)- Sleeping At Last
  4. Scatterbrain (As Dead As Leaves)- Radiohead
  5. Cold Contagious- Bush
  6. Cars Pass in Cold Blood- The Faint
  7. All Night Lazy- Add N To (X)
  8. Tonight Let's Dance- Elefant
  9. Each Coming Night- Iron & Wine
  10. Medallia Of The Gray Skies- Smashing Pumpkins
  11. The Loneliest Night of My Life Came Calling- Malcolm Middleton (cuts off, I'm super pissed!)
  12. Darkshines- Muse
  13. Skin And Bones- Foo Fighters
  14. Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken- Camera Obscura
  15. Bones- The Killers
  16. Kids Will Be Skeleton- Mogwai

It's not exactly an upbeat mix, but at the same time, it's not all gloomy. I definitely added to it while in different moods.


Saturday, October 21, 2006

These Things

So I get my JCrew catalogue in the mail and, like usual, I grab my highlighter and get to work marking everything I want. Quickly though I realized I was sort of circling something on every page and had one hand reaching for my AmEx when I made myself set it down.

Close call.

It was almost a Clothes Call. (HAHA...No? Not funny? Really?)

I have been on the hunt for a new coat for winter in the past few weeks and with the help of DCCeline, I had started to narrow down my choices. But then....THEN I get the JCrew catalogue in the mail and now I have about five more options without the bank account to support them. Honestly, and I know this is insane and I will NOT be doing this, I could easily spend $1000 on coats I want right now. From my computer. Seriously! I know, I know. I hate you, e-shopping. I hate you, expensive items of clothing I want so badly! I hate you, job that doesn't pay enough.

But I do not hate cold weather. How could I have ill words for my favorite seasons. The seasons that drive me crazy because I can't get enough of the clothing I love: sweaters, scarves, coats, layers, cashmere socks...I could go on and on. It's the time of year I love to be outside for so I can bundle up in multiple layers with a hott coat and a scarf and a hat just in case and gloves and...get it? I love it.

I need to play the lottery (and win) to support my winter clothing addiction.

Call It A Day

My weekend job availibility clearly states that I cannot close on Friday or Saturday nights, yet what am I doing tonight? Closing at my weekend job. When I first saw the hours of 4-12 on the schedule I was pissed and planned on getting it changed immediately. Then I got to thinking that if they scheduled me for Saturday night then they wouldn't schedule me for my usual opening shift the next day and I also have said I can't close on Sunday nights so the likelihood of having tomorrow off was a good one. Hmmm, and also, getting to sleep in* on Saturday sounded really nice. It's 12:40pm and I am only just now beginning to think about having to get ready and leave by 3pm so it's not like my entire day has been wasted, right? And I won't be alone tonight. Steven will be there, too, and the last time we both worked we had a lot of fun**. AND Serena is there until 830 so at least I'm not working with complete wankers.

But having to leave for work at 3pm does put a slight damper on my Saturday. It's not like I can get much done later and boy do I have a To Do list going on right now. So far today I have ignored it completely and have instead read magazines, made mix CDs, and watched the Laguna Beach marathon on MTV.

So, if you are going out tonight, think of me working and have a drink or two. Or three. Then bring me one.


*Even though I'm old now and sort of can't sleep past a certain time anymore. What's with that, anyway?
**Or, as much fun as two people can have while still working an annoying job.

Thursday, October 19, 2006


"Stingray leaps into boat, stabs man in the chest"

Should I be worried here? Are the stingrays plotting against us with a plan to take over the world, one person at a time? Because when two (2!) people are killed by stingrays piercing their chests in the last few months it seems a bit like a cause to worry. These are freak accidents, right? Yet to have two so close together? And in this second case are we reading it correctly that the stingray LEAPT into the boat? I was under the impression that stingrays liked to hang out near the bottom of the ocean. When I was at the Baltimore Aquarium in July, they just swam around looking bored. None of those stingrays "lept" out of the tank and really, if any stingray was going to revolt, wouldn't it be the one being held in captivity? Maybe those are the stingrays on the 'inside' who are somehow getting messages to the stingrays in the wild about who to kill.

All I know is that I am staying away from boats AND stingrays until this all calms down.

Be safe out there, kids.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


As promised/threatened last week, I am beginning my weekly Gilmore Girls discussion. I expect comments at least from Veeda and Serena and I hope some others pipe in! Now, if, for some crazy reason, you haven't seen the episode yet and don't want to read any spoilers, then stop now, ok? Go read my archives and comment or something.

And without further adieu:

S Wonderful, 'S Marvelous:

Snakes On A Plane references? A little late, but still funny for the joke that comes later. And Anna and I joked about this movie so much a few months ago that I appreciate any and all jokes concerning it. I actually never saw the movie, to be honest. I'm one of those, I know.

"I forget what the protocal is when your mom is dating your dad." I laughed at that. I hope you did, too. So, I have to bring this up now: ARE LUKE AND LORELAI GOING TO GET BACK TOGETHER? I read an article before the season started that mentioned Christopher being a guest star in the beginning of the season. Read that? THE BEGINNING? So it's been what, three episodes now into the season? He better stay in the "guest star" section of the credits. That's an old soap opera trick: you can always tell who is going to really die or leave the show based on their contracts. My roommate in college made fun of me once for saying that, but she totally knew it was true. And it's not like I don't like Christopher, but it's just not right for he and L to end up together. Even if Luke was a total jackass last season, it should be L and L.

Maybe now is the time for my "I'm not crazy" disclaimer.

Disclaimer: I'm not crazy. But it's either blog about this or blog about the spots I was seeing at the end of 7th period today. I took a gamble and figured Gilmore Girls was more exciting.

Back to the show. Back to Luke's. OMG, Kirk said, "Growing boy." I love it. And now April's mother is there and I will let it be known that I DO NOT LIKE HER. I also do not like Luke's hat. Or gourds.

I have to agree with Sookie that it's weird for Lorelai and Christopher to be dating. Because, HELLO, if it ends badly, they can't just go their separate ways because, as they keep reminding us, he's Rory's father. And how many times in the past did this end badly? Um, should I count the times? OK, I won't because then my disclaimer just won't be as convincing.

"Snakes on a boat?!"

Apparently Rory just got back from her shift at the restaurant. Get it? Black pants and a white, button-down shirt? OK, maybe it's just me that always feels like a waitress when I wear something like that. Can't they put something more exciting on her? Maybe it's to make her seem more blah and down as she has been since Logan jetted off to London. And speaking of London-is she going to visit there? Are they going to film on location? Because my plans for getting to London aren't for another two years and I'd like to see more of it before that.

I'm not sure why April complains about Luke's place being too "brown." What's wrong with brown? It looks like mud. I'm a big fan of it. Brown, not mud. What I would complain about is not having any walls...or privacy. If there is one thing I don't like, it's sleeping out in the open. In my four years of dorm living, I struggled with this. Three out of the four years I either had a loft or a bunked bed (still pissed about that, by the way) which allowed me to sleep without worrying about someone seeing my Sleep Face. The first year, though? If I wasn't up first then I was buried under my blankets no matter how warm I was trying to catch some more Zs. Anyway, I digress. I wouldn't want to sleep in Luke's apartment because it's just one big room.

And for how long is Rory the Editor-In-Chief of the Yale Daily News? I want it to be until she graduates, but Doyle was just on the staff his last year, right? How will this work? I've never been on the paper. No, wait. I was in 1st grade. I remember being chosen to be on the newspaper staff and then finding out my family was moving about a week later which crushed me. I thought I would never have a chance to excel again. HA! (If you didn't catch that...what I'm saying is that I went on to excel just fine. Maybe what I missed was learning how to be modest. I think that skill is overrated. At least when concerning me!)

I appreciated the hair comment. It's so true about the elements affecting hair and how annoying that is. I always have to have bobby pins on me now in case of the freak rain storm. Do you know how unattractive it would be for my hair to get wet in the middle of the day? Sure, curly hair is cute and all, but not when you have bangs. Or, bang-like pieces that would so not misbehave in rain. Okay okay okay...back to the show. "Is that the special thing?"

Christopher did a good job with the date. It means a lot to do something unique and special. Luke would never arrange for one of her favorite movies to be shown on the side of a barn. Point for Christopher.

Is it really illegal to drive in CT while talking on a cell phone? What other places have this law besides DC? I ALWAYS forget about it while driving in DC.

Is the Paris talk with those art girls a set up for something in the future? Because otherwise it's just random . Ooooh, did you notice the prop placement with Rory's book that had the ID in it? Good job, prop people. I had also read that Rory will be making some new friends and I guess these are girls are it. I can deal with them.

"It's going really good." WELL! WELL! WELL!

Blah blah blah...April scenes bore me. She's a more annoying mini-Rory. And Luke being a dad annoys me, too. He needs to go yell at Taylor. Or Kirk. Or go throw rocks at Lorelai's window. I just read on Lala's blog about her love for Christopher and dislike for Luke. I totally understand, but Christopher has this air of being temporary and I don't want this to turn into the type of season where Lorelai gets married in the season finale and I'm left wondering for eternity what their lives are like. Not that I would, of course. But it's like at the end of Dawson's Creek when you find out in the last few moments that Joey and Pacey end up together, but you had to go through two hours of not knowing and really hoping that the writers didn't eff up the show and have Dawson and Joey end up together.

What's up with this girl and popcorn? And Rory and rice, apparently. Did they all smoke up before going back to Rory's? WEIRD! And the obviousness is totally there: Rory finds friends and all of a sudden it's not all about Logan. Not that they're breaking up, but at least Rory won't be a whiny little sissy baby. Ok, that was way harsh, Ty. I just mean that it's her senior year at YALE and so far all she's done is a little cyber. (Ew, by the way.)


The scenes from next week have me worried. I need to know for how many more episodes Christopher will be on. I need to be prepared. Let's do a vote: CHRISTOPHER or LUKE? Cast your vote in the comments, please.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Just A Girl

I've been a total Girl lately. girl with a capital "G".

Not that I'm not always a girl because, hello, and no we don't need to talk lack-of-Y chromosome or anatomy here. What I mean is my thinking and my mindset. Don't get all femi-weird on me and say that thinking about boys and romance shouldn't be what I define "Girl" as because it's my blog and I'll define things how I want to.

I've been a total Girl lately.

What I'm wanting right now is a perfume advertisement. And not just a ripped out page from Elle, but a perfume ad...for real.
I am in love with the Ralph Lauren Romance ads and have been for years. I swear they're art and I always stop and take them in as I'm perusing my magazines. What I love about them is that they seem to capture this moment and it's hard to describe exactly what it is. It's before kissing, before contact and full of emotion. I know you're all going to think I'm insane for loving these ads so much, but whatever, I don't care.
And the funny thing is, I wear Calvin Klein Euphoria...

Monday, October 16, 2006


Somehow I had never seen this movie even though it has always been on my list. You know, the "I Know I Will Like This Movie" list. A friend of mine in college really liked this movie. and I rememeber when she finally got the poster of our dear, hott, amazingly sexy-even-though-he's-strung-out-on-heroin star Ewan McGregor from ebay, we practically had an unveiling ceremony when she hung it on her dorm wall in Custis Hall*. Set to our own soundtrack made up of our Mousetrap-inspired brit-pop favorites, we taped Ewan up for all to admire.

Anyway, I'm digressing as a result of that picture to the right. It's hard to focus with it over there, you know. So what if the only time in the movie when he's soaking wet is after he's been digging around in a filthy toilet? I'm not thinking about that right now. And he wears tight-ass pants...and a little short shirt. And still, totally hott.

But I like the movie for more than just Ewan McGregor, I promise! Even for more than it being set in Scotland. I'm deeper than you think. Really, I am.


*Custis Is The Bustis! (Yes, that was our dorm motto and no, it doesn't have a meaning.)

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Clark Gable

I wasn't named for Gone With The Wind, but since I do share a name with the heroine, I've always loved it. I was watching the movie a few months ago and got to the part where Clark Gable says to Scarlet(t): "...You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how. " and I had one of my classic, "A-ha!" moments. You know, where I finally hear the line of the movie or song and it makes so much sense to me. Or I finally hear it for what it really is and it strikes some chord in me and I totally fall in love with it again. I do this a lot. I'll love a song for years and one day, something changes and I hear it differently, like it's new to me and I'm obsessed with its new meaning for me.

So the other day I was listening to Mailtunes 1.1. This was my second time choosing the theme and I picked "clapping songs" so every song on the disc is based on, or has clapping in it. It's turned out to be an awesome mix, if I do say so myself. "Clark Gable" by The Postal Service was one of my additions and the other day I had an "A-ha!" moment when I heard this line: "That I've been waiting since birth to find a love that would look and sound like a movie."

I know a lot of people don't buy into the Ben Gibbard hoopla, but I have a lot of "A-ha!" moments with his stuff and I will readily agree that it's the Girl in me who relates to it all. Serena and I were talking about this the other day. How we wonder if guys sit around obsessing about stupid things or conjuring up scenarios that would only ever happen in the movies. Combine an active imagination with a tendency to daydream and that is what you get. I have to remind myself a lot that while I would love for my daydreams to become reality, I just can't get my hopes up for such fantastical situations to occur.

Okay, so on to the song. I was never one for analyzing books in English. In fact, I hated it and tried to be obstinate about symbolism and meaning whenever I could. If there had been a class on analyzing song lyrics, though? I would have aced it. And no, I'm not going to "analyze" this song. Heavens no. I'm not an emo-wussy-baby.

I was waiting for a cross-town train
In the London underground
When it struck me
That I've been waiting since birth to find
A love that would look and sound
Like a movie
So I changed my plans
I rented a camera and a van
And then I called you
"I need you to pretend that we are in love again"
And you agreed to

I want so badly to believe
That "there is truth, that love is real"
And I want life in every word
To the extent that it's absurd

I greased the lens and framed the shot
Using a friend
As my stand-in
The script it called for rain
But it was clear that day
So we faked it
The marker snapped
And I yelled, "Quiet on the set!"
And then called, "Action!"
And I kissed you in a style
Clark Gable would have admired
(I thought it classic)

I want so badly to believe
That "there is truth, that love is real"
And I want life in every word
To the extent that it's absurd

I know you're wise beyond your years
But do you ever get the fear
That your perfect verse is just a lie
You tell yourself to help you get by?

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Over And Over Again (Lost And Found)

You know what is really confusing?

That people like Janet Jackson?

That I had to work on Columbus Day?

That weekends are only two days long?

No, that Fair Oaks Mall has two Macys. For navigation reasons, it's just wrong to do this to a shopper. I almost always park by the side Lord & Taylor entrance not only because it's habit, but because I know just how to go in, pass Coldstone, pass the crazy people at Build A Bear, pass the weird kiosks that noone ever shops at and head straight into MAC. Today, though, I was planning on hitting up only Victoria's Secret* so I decided to bypass my usual parking lot and aim for one closer.

I will never do this again.

I continued driving around the circle looking for the entrance I guesstimated would put me closest to VS and realized it was at the Macys' door. Wait, Macys? Wasn't that store on the other side of the mall? I thought so, but since I usually don't park over there, I just thought I was confused or maybe it's like the Spotsy Mall that has a sign for Hechts that is nowhere near the actual store.

Anyway, I parked and went in and headed straight to Victoria's Secret** where the stupid little cuntbag employee totally pissed me off, but that's another story. But really, when there's a problem with the card and its YOUR problem, don't act put out when you need to call the help desk. Bitch.

After my lovely*** experience there I was so ready to get out of that mall so I headed straight to Macys to find the exit by the coats. Because you should always note which entrance you came in at in order to expediate the leaving process. Well, I did this. I made sure to say to myself, "Scarlet, don't forget you need to leave at the doors by the women's coats." Apparently I had entered an alternte universe where Macys no longer carried the coats I had been looking for. Ok, maybe I needed to go to another floor (even though I was certain I had come in on the second floor.)

First floor-no doors. Awesome.

Third floor- only the parking deck and I knew I hadn't parked there.

Back to the second floor. I even went outside thinking that maybe, just maybe, they had done some freakishly fast changeover and had replaced the coats with a jewlery section. By this time I had called my mom because I was worried I would never be heard from again and would become the woman in Macys who stumbled around day after day trying to find her exit. She promised to come check on me if I wasn't heard from in a few days.

At this point I was hot and tired and really frustrated so I decided to sort of retrace my steps and was starting to question my sanity that I had even come in at Macys. Maybe the bright sun of the day had made me squint on my way in and "JC Penney" had somehow looked like "Macys"? I doubted it, but at this point I had nothing to lose so I left Macys. I headed back towards the GAP and onward by the jewelry story I remembered walking by. I kept going, seeing the elevator I had used**** and as I turned the corner I saw it....


But wait, hadn't I just come from Macys? Was this really the end of me having my sanity? I walked over to the mall directory with the fear in my heart that I would soon be living in a group home for "people like me." You know what I saw?

Two Macys on the map.


I was too angry to even think about it. I just stormed out of the store and into my car where I called my mom to let her know I had finally escaped. Then I texted people to tell them I was okay and someone said, "Oh yeah, Hechts changed its name."

I am never shopping at Macys or Hechts again.

*Guys, calm down.
**Yeah, right. The coats section and GAP later, I reached my destination.
***Let's just say I left with no bags. I was PISSED.
***I wasn't being lazy. It was just more convenient than the stairs.

Friday, October 13, 2006

The Conductor

One could say that today is my conducting debut. I'd rather not have today be put in the history books once I am a famous musician, or just famous for being me, but for now, we can mark today down as my debut. Even though I am not dedicated enough to be a cliched "starving artist", I love conducting. We all know about my dorky habit of collecting the music scores to things I'm playing in orchestra* so I can study them and my daydream wish to someday have to step in for an ailing maestro.

Today though, my debut is occurring at [insert real name here] Middle School in [city], [State]. You see, my dear friends, today is the Pep Rally and none other than the 8th grade band under the direction of ME is playing for the entire school.

It occurred to be early this morning that maybe I should be nervous. Does the thought of conducting/playing in front of 800 preteens scare you? Maybe I am okay because of the fact that about 60% of them will spend the time talking to their friends nearby. I'm certainly not expecting 100% attention. One day I said, "OK, let's get started!" and they actually all fell silent and, I kid you not, I almost fell off the podium. I felt light-headed, had to take a deep breath and get started. It was a funny moment.

But I'm not nervous. I think partly because it's Friday and I'm tired, but also because IT'S FRIDAY and about 2 hours after we play, and I conduct, I'll be at home starting my weekend. I've got more important things to think about than to be nervous.

I probably should have alerted the press about my big debut. It's a shame this won't be caught on film

*Eff PRO!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Shut Up

I should be the hero of my class! I'm expecting them all to bow down and proclaim me their leader!

Ok, so we turn in our midterms and then just have to present a project we had turned in last week. Then...THEN WE GET TO GO HOME! So needless to say, keep it short and sweet, right?

Well, some people didn't get the memo because they are taking whole quarters of an hour to explain their stupid projects! The woman before me took 15 minutes. FIFTEEN!!!!! I think I aged while she talked.

So then it was my turn and I took...get this...One minute. Now yes, I talk very quickly and they probably missed half of what I said, (As a side note, a student today said to explain something slower, haha, oops!) but noone cares what my project was. I don't care what theirs were.

Then the prof says how we get our break after the next guy. So NEEDLESS TO SAY get it over with quickly, buddy.

Kill me. He took ten minutes.

It's like I can see my life flashing before my eyes during these presentations.

I wish they would follow my lead and make it short sweet and just SHUT UP!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

100,000 Thoughts

I'm mad at my subconscious. I had the longest, most complex dreams last night. I think I went through every emotion there is while sleeping and instead of waking up and not remembering anything, I've got it all replaying in my mind still.

It was like Waterworld mixed with a Lifetime movie mixed with that movie with Tom Hanks (?) and a mermaid mixed with GTA: San Andreas mixed with a WETA arts special mixed with some sappy romantic comedy.

Ahhh yes, romantic comedy. Because who cares if in my dream I at one point was afraid my legs were fused together or that I had to go out on a raft to play my bassoon? I'm a stupid girl who can't stop thinking about the annoying part of my dream where some guy* came up to console me after we realized we we marching towards skin cancer** and when I wasn't allowed to play in the orchestra***.

So. Annoying.

I wish I was better at not wanting things I don't have or obsessing over small things.


*Yes, just some guy.
**Don't ask. I told you it was weird!
***Fuck, PRO!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Coffee & TV

I am a sucker for TV commercials. Towards the end of summer when the networks all begin shoving their new (and old) shows in our faces, I vow to watch them all. I want to experience every relationship on TV and be a part of every quirky town presented. I want to be with every show from the beginning in case it turns out to be amazing.

Now, obviously I don't watch every TV show. I don't even watch a TV show a night. It's just too much to get caught up in everything because then when I miss them I feel left out. The following is my TV-watching list.

  • Amazing Race 10- I miss the Rob/Amber season. I can't stand the chick with the fake leg and I don't want to hear about her hydraulic fluid anymore. I liked the dad/daughter team that got kicked off 2 weeks ago. I love dad/daughter teams.
  • Desperate Housewives- This is one that I don't mind if I miss. I'm just not as into it now. I think the mom/daughter addition annoys me enough to not care what's going on otherwise.
  • How I Met Your Mother- A new addition as of last night because I realized Bob Saget voices it and I LOVE Bob Saget!
  • Heroes- So awesome! I admit to watching the first two while multitasking with some work, but now I'm totally hooked. I love Milo V.
  • Studio 60- Another show I won't mind to miss and also the reason I'm not watching the Brian show. I know if I watch Brian then I'll get annoyed if I miss a week.
  • GILMORE GIRLS- Seriously, the highlight of my week because I am a self-named huge dork about this show. I have no ill words for this fine hour of tv watching. And I usually extend it to two because I rewatch it later in the week. A-ma-zing!
  • Veronica Mars- I don't really watch this show, but have been told to try it, so I am. So far Kristen Bell still annoys the crap out of me.
  • Jericho- I don't care how many bad reviews I read for this show, I like it because I like Skeet Ulrich. (And I'll catch America's Next Top Model on a marathan.)
  • Lost- Duh. I've loved this show before it even came on the air. I hear J.J. Abrams had a new show and knew I'd like it. I will admit that I can't devote the attention it needs now and often end up reading a summary of it the next day to fill in any pieces. And I'm a Jack fan. Down with Sawyer.
  • Grey's Anatomy- Perfection! I love this show and no, I don't not think it's lost any of its magic. And I'm a McDreamy fan through and through. Down with McVet and McSteamy.
  • Six Degrees- This isn't hooking me yet. I usually end up going to sleep and skimming it on TiVo the next day.
So, that's it. Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays are when I have class so I usually get home and am complete jelly (both in mind and body) so I just veg and watch TV. Oh, and sometimes I do last minute work for the next day. I'm a big multitasker.


Monday, October 09, 2006

Thanks For The Pepperonni

I just want to apologize to Christopher Columbus for not properly observing his day. I, unlike what seemed to be everyone I knew, was at work today. I figured that since I work for a school, which usually follows government holidays, I would be off today. So when I sadly realized I was not, I then assumed that everyone would be at work today! Imagine my dismay when it's 9am and I haven't received any emails! Finally, at a semi-sleep-in hour, they started rolling in. I was only in my second planning period and started wondering how these people were able to email so much while at work. That's when I asked...

"Are you in the office today?"

I won't post what I said in response to their reply about being off for Columbus Day. Let's just say I was a little angry.

Then I asked my fellow school worker if he was working today and almost threw my monitor when he wrote back that he was indeed off for the day.

So, Christopher, I'm really, really sorry I haven't properly observed and celebrated your day today. It wasn't my fault and I promise to be really lazy all night tonight to make up for it.


Sunday, October 08, 2006

Bugg Superstar

That fucking ant ruined my day. It was supposed to be a good day. I had 8 hours of sleep which, even though it's indicative of my incredibly lame Saturday night, is a lovely rarity for the day of an opening shift at The Barn. So I wasn't tired, but was still in that "Don't cry. Don't cry." mood. I have to blame stress. I have so much this week:

  • Midterm tomorrow night
  • Two short papers due Tuesday night
  • Midterm due Thursday night

All three have variables associated with them to either make them more or less difficult and stressful. Oh, and this isn't even getting started on my day job. It's going well, thanks for asking. I'm actually almost done which is good and bad. We won't get into it here.

So yeah, I get asked to stay 20 minutes later at work today and even though I desperately want to go home, I said yes. I didn't want to be a bitch to a skeletal staff. But then, 30 minutes later I had to go and my calls for relief went unanswered. It's ok, I understood. But I didn't get home until 730 or something ridiculous. My Sunday is about over and I have nothing to show for it. And I can't bring myself to throw those stupid muffins away. Fucking ants.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Saturday (Ohh Ohh)

So Far:

+ Finished "Breakfast At Tiffanys." I had actually never seen an Audrey Hepbun movie and after last week's revelation, I figured I should. I liked it, of course. Holly Golightly cracks me up. She's so random.

+ Bought galoshes. And shoes that look like slippers.

+ Was given the wrong thing at Taco Smell and one bite in I realized there was sour cream on it. DIS-GUST-ING!

+Did not get the new Decemberists album because Target is stupid that way, but did get the new Killers album. I hate it when people write that sentence like: "I did get the new The Killers album." Ew.

Up Next:

- I guess I'm going to UMW Homecoming later. I do and do not want to go. My usual partner in crime is staying in Richmond tonight so I have to try to find a group to hang out with. This can either be super easy or incredibly awkward. I'm not one for heading into places alone when I don't know where my friends are.

- I am determined to practice the bassoon today. It's made tough by the fact that I can't practice while sitting on the couch, haha.

- School work? Eh. Maybe. In fact, I highly doubt that will happen today.

- Conor's party? Probably not likely for me to go to Fredericksburg and then Southriding, but never say never.


Wednesday, October 04, 2006

That Smell

I got my hair cut today. I LOOOOOVE getting my hair cut because not only is it wicked relaxing, but I leave feeling like a gazillion bucks. Steve, my hair dude, is amazing. I told him that when I am famous I will only come to him for my hair needs. He was really excited and then we talked about his recent trip to California and how Venice Beach smells like pot and incense.

Anyway, so he used this product on my hair called Sexy Healthy Hair or something that smelled like Thanksgiving. I hadn't eaten all day and didn't have a chance to before my appointment, but this stuff smelled good enough that I kept taking really deep breaths in hopes that the aroma was created from real food that would somehow get into my bloodstream. I may have drooled a little and I know my stomach growled. My hair still smells like a pumpkin spice latte and I keep flipping my hair so the air molecules get all shaken up and release the sweet, sweet smell again.

So needless to say I bought the freaking shampoo. I was a good girl and didn't get the conditioner...yet! I'll probably stop back by on Friday. Steve gave me a hard time for the shampoo I've been using. He said, "Girl! You can't use that stuff! It'll build up!"

I've gotta listen to Steve. And my stomach. DAMN, this pumpkin stuff is awesome!!!! It's like my hair!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Do You Feel The Same

Um, just go with it:

Cake is good, right? Cake is really good. You know what else is good? Cake batter. The thing about cake batter is that it tastes good, but if you think about the fact that it has raw eggs in it, you can get kind of grossed out. Basically you're eating fake-cake. It sort of tastes like cake, but isn't yet. It's pre-cake. And it's full of stuff that isn't good for a raw eggs.

So if you have cake then you had cake batter before, right? But if you have cake batter you won't necessarily have cake. Maybe you never bake it. Or you eat too much of it and it makes you sick and it ruins the thought of ever eating cake again.

I like cake. Cake batter isn't enough.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Breakfast At Tiffanys

Every once and awhile I realize something and can't believe it's taken until now for me to know it....

Today's fact is:

Audrey Hepburn and Katherine Hepburn were not sisters.

Rhythm Is Gonna Get Ya

We started going over the new sheet music today for the kids' winter concert. I realized during this that I am a rhythm nazi.

- I HATE it when the audiences claps with a band or orchestra and refuse to do it...even if the band/orchestra wants this. It drives me crazy when the clapping gets off beat and then speeds up, but I can still hear the band/orchestra.

- This whole "light travels faster than sound" thing has irked me for years. Ever since my Marching Band days (shutup) when I would watch from the stands. The sound was never in sync with the conducting and I often have to look away or I want to scream.

- In my music skills classes in college we would do these exercises where the professor would play a rhythm on the piano and we would had to write it down. We could hear it 2-3 times and were usually only given a tempo to go off of. I excelled at these. I always volunteered to write my answer on the board because I was confident it was correct. I also volunteered to do this because when we did the same exercise, but with chords, I sucked at it and knew I needed to get my points somehow.

- I'm not sure when I peaked at this skill, but for awhile I could sorta play anything on the clarinet. Now, that is and is not an exaggeration. I remember being good at this junior year of high school and then again sophomore year of college when I started taking lessons there as a music major. My teacher and I would just play stuff the entire 30 minutes and while I would, of course, mess up on some notes here and there, I was really good at the rhythms. The last two years of lessons in college were spent developing my ability to play musically as well so I lost a bit of my technicallness, but it was for the best. It's important to be good at both.

- It drives me crazy when people in orchestra* don't play their passages correctly. If anything, people should always get the first beat of the measure correct. It is unacceptable not to. Stupid, cunts.

I also realized today, though, that I can't be a rhythm nazi with beginning musicians. I had to remind myself that it's tough to play new things with new notes with new instruments. They better shape up soon, though! Rhythm is gonna get ya! Rhythm is gonna get ya!

*errrggggg!!!!!!! I hate you, PRO!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Trying Not To Think About Time

Sundays are weird.

First of all, there is NOTHING on TV all day long. Usually I work on Sundays so I forget about this problem, but seriously, why don't they put some good movies on for the people relaxing at home? I remember when I was a lot younger that Romancing The Stone would come on like, every Sunday. I HATED that movie. Whenever I see it in the DVD bins I shudder from the memory of being bored out of my mind on a Sunday afternoon.

Secondly, I tend to wish for time to stop on Sundays. I got up relatively early today because last night I fell asleep at 11pm after getting up at 5am for the Will'burg Scottish Festival (pics to come soon). I kept feeling like the day was still ahead of me as long as it hadn't hit noon yet and once it did, I pushed that time back to 5pm. So, I've had a pretty long day full of nothing, but soon it will be 5pm and then all of a sudden Desperate Housewives will be on and then I'll be getting ready to go to bed and then...and then I'll be setting my alarm for tomorrow.

That's the worst part of Sunday. Setting the alarm for the Monday wake-up time. It's painful.