I'm going to date myself here, but I didn't have the internet until I went to college. While I am glad for so many reasons that I didn't grow up with Facebook and Twitter, sometimes I realize how much I missed out on because of it.
As a young teen girl, I found out about the world around me from my magazines: Seventeen, Sassy, and YM. I learned about music from MTV and the arts from my grandmother's hand me down Smithsonian magazines that I obsessively cut up for scrapbooks I never made. I found out which celebrities I shared a birthday with by waiting until February 17th each year to see that episode of Entertainment Tonight.
When I was in high school I excelled in music, but never knew where a love for that could take me. I assumed all music majors had to be proteges at their instruments otherwise your only other option was to be a teacher. I majored in Biology in college because I had a really wonderful teacher my junior year and wanted to combine it with my love of tennis to become a sports physician. I signed up every year for career shadowing day, but there was never anyone to pair me with. I shadowed a Nurse Practitioner one year and learned a lot about the reception area of the doctor's office.
What I love about 2017 is that so many more things are accessible. I went to an author signing this week for a writer whose work I am completely in love with. Her books inspire me and, because I follow her on twitter, I get to see some of the behind the scenes parts of the process. I went to another signing a few days later for an author who gives out course-loads of free (and amazing!) writing advice and I was able to thank her in person for that.
When I was a kid I loved Judy Blume books so incredibly much, but I had no idea who July Blume was. She was just this name on the cover of these books I devoured over and over. And it never occurred to me that I could do that, too. That writing a book wasn't just sitting down at a typewriter (remember, this is pre-computers everywhere, kids!) and creating something wonderful in one try. My love for reading never translated to writing when I was growing up and I was terrible in my english classes.
A few years ago I was watching an awards show and a celebrity wore a dress in the most beautiful shade of yellow/green. I tweeted to Judy Blume (who I knew was also watching) and said it looked chartreuse to me, a color I learned about in her book JUST AS LONG AS WE'RE TOGETHER. She wrote back in agreement and pre-teen Scarlet was ELATED. (Who are we kidding, adult Scarlet was freaking out, too.) You guys...Judy Blume is a person. She sit at the computer like the rest of us and strings together words, whether they're on twitter or in a word doc to create a book. And this woman, this sensational writer whose books I have loved for most of my life interacted with me. It was cool!
I was thinking about this the other night at my second book event in a week and about how maybe just 10 years ago I said I didn't really care about meeting authors. "It's not that exciting to meet someone who wrote the book. I'd rather just read it." 2017 me laughs so hard at this, but also, 2007 me didn't have the same connection with so many of my favorite authors: the internet...and twitter specifically.
I drove to Pennsylvania last year to meet Sarah J. Maas because I love her books so much, but also because I follow her online and it seems like we both cry all the time at stuff we love. I love when she posts on Instagram about seeing a ballet and sobbing by the end of it. (I, too, can't control my tears!)
I went to Susan Dennard's book signing last night because I love her Witchlanders series, but also because I relate to her as someone who has interests in science and the arts and because she gives the best writing advice!
I left work early last Sunday to go to Victoria Schwab's event not only because I am obsessed with her books, but because we share a love of Scotland and I admire her work ethic. I know these things because I follow her on twitter.
I've always been a lover of the arts (books, music, films, etc.), but more than with musicians and actors, authors were always a little more inaccessible. I would walk into a bookstore and look for the latest installment of my favorite series, but it never went much farther than just thinking about what their last name was to find them on the shelves or reading their short bio on the last page. Twitter changed that, and while there are, of course, cons to being so out there, I, for one am so grateful to have learned more about books and writing.
I was always going to be a lifelong reader, but in the past decade I learned I could create something, too. I discovered so many different ways to explore and share my love of books and creativity. I may never have a published book, but I learned that writers are just people. (Talented, creative, awesome) People who sit down and do the work. I love that the internet has provided me that knowledge.
It may suck that I never knew paid internships existed in college or that there are career paths for non-protege clarinet players, but it's okay because it's 2017 and if there's one thing the internet has taught me, it's that anyone can have success and at any age.
XO,
SVR
Showing posts with label scarlet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scarlet. Show all posts
Friday, March 03, 2017
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Winter Wonderland
People give me a hard time about the weather. Like because I know what I like (COLD) and am 100% happy when I get to wear layers and scarves and hope for snow that I'm weird. I literally never complain about it being cold. Never ever.
But when it's January and 71 degrees out, people act like I'm a monster because I'm upset. It's not just a little warmer today, it's ridiculously warm. The average temperature in January around here is 32. So we're ~40 degrees warmer than that today. Unacceptable.
"But doesn't it feel good after it being so cold?"
No. You know what feels good? A cashmere sweater.
You know what doesn't feel good? Having to work in an overly heated building because it's 40 degrees warmer than what the thermostats are set for.
Also, it's not like we get this same unseasonable weather in the summer. The average temperatures around here for June, July, August, and September are 80, 80, 89, and 86 respectively. Also in the past few years, the coldest average day has only been 19 degrees cooler than the average. 19. Not 40.
So, come back to me when it's going to be a high in the 40s in July. Then we can talk. Or when it's going to be 20 degrees above the average for multiple days.
Give me back my winter. It's already too fleeting.
XO,
SVR
But when it's January and 71 degrees out, people act like I'm a monster because I'm upset. It's not just a little warmer today, it's ridiculously warm. The average temperature in January around here is 32. So we're ~40 degrees warmer than that today. Unacceptable.
"But doesn't it feel good after it being so cold?"
No. You know what feels good? A cashmere sweater.
You know what doesn't feel good? Having to work in an overly heated building because it's 40 degrees warmer than what the thermostats are set for.
Also, it's not like we get this same unseasonable weather in the summer. The average temperatures around here for June, July, August, and September are 80, 80, 89, and 86 respectively. Also in the past few years, the coldest average day has only been 19 degrees cooler than the average. 19. Not 40.
So, come back to me when it's going to be a high in the 40s in July. Then we can talk. Or when it's going to be 20 degrees above the average for multiple days.
Give me back my winter. It's already too fleeting.
XO,
SVR
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
#PitchWars #PimpMyBio Hi, I'm Scarlet!
I'm biting the bullet and entering Pitch Wars this year! I'm nervous, but there are only positives to entering, right?
So, a little about me...
I pay the bills by working in a large, chain bookstore (you know the one) where I'm happiest when I'm organizing the Teen section or talking about the latest book I've read (and am most likely obsessing over). I post all of my staff recommendations on Instagram!
My hobbies, though, are what really enrich my life and I have many of them: I play the clarinet and bassoon in a community band, I have a Gilmore Girls podcast, I love photography, I watch a million TV shows and films and, of course, I read and write a lot! Oh, and I have a bit of an obsession with tennis. Er...I guess I need to be honest here: I am completely and irrevocably in love with tennis. If only watching tennis counted as working out!
Despite always being a voracious reader, I never thought I could write something of my own. I am not that person who, as a child, wrote my own stories and dabbled in fan fiction because I loved it. In fact, I kind of hated writing. I wasn't very good at it and I never gained much confidence for it while in school. I was proud of myself for doing well enough on my AP Lit exam so I would only have to take one english class in college. (I know!)
While I was always much better at math and science (I double majored in Biology and Music at the University of Mary Washington in Fredericksburg, VA), I have always been extremely creative. I have the type of brain that exists outside the box and I think that is why I love books so much. I have such an appreciation for the minds that think up the stories I love and in the past few years I finally realized that I could do it, too!
I wrote my first manuscript (a contemporary YA romance about a vague breakup), but set it aside because I figured it was my "terrible first book":) What I wrote next, and what I'll be querying is a YA adventure that was inspired by my own love of music when I imagined a world where it was illegal. THE MOVEMENT is told in dual POV and my male MC is based on Dave Grohl. (They say to write what you know and I have definitely done that!)
Thanks so much to Brenda Drake and all of the mentors out there! I'm excited! (and nervous!)
Check out the main blog hop page to find some other awesome writers!
XO,
SVR
So, a little about me...
I pay the bills by working in a large, chain bookstore (you know the one) where I'm happiest when I'm organizing the Teen section or talking about the latest book I've read (and am most likely obsessing over). I post all of my staff recommendations on Instagram!
My hobbies, though, are what really enrich my life and I have many of them: I play the clarinet and bassoon in a community band, I have a Gilmore Girls podcast, I love photography, I watch a million TV shows and films and, of course, I read and write a lot! Oh, and I have a bit of an obsession with tennis. Er...I guess I need to be honest here: I am completely and irrevocably in love with tennis. If only watching tennis counted as working out!
Despite always being a voracious reader, I never thought I could write something of my own. I am not that person who, as a child, wrote my own stories and dabbled in fan fiction because I loved it. In fact, I kind of hated writing. I wasn't very good at it and I never gained much confidence for it while in school. I was proud of myself for doing well enough on my AP Lit exam so I would only have to take one english class in college. (I know!)
While I was always much better at math and science (I double majored in Biology and Music at the University of Mary Washington in Fredericksburg, VA), I have always been extremely creative. I have the type of brain that exists outside the box and I think that is why I love books so much. I have such an appreciation for the minds that think up the stories I love and in the past few years I finally realized that I could do it, too!
I wrote my first manuscript (a contemporary YA romance about a vague breakup), but set it aside because I figured it was my "terrible first book":) What I wrote next, and what I'll be querying is a YA adventure that was inspired by my own love of music when I imagined a world where it was illegal. THE MOVEMENT is told in dual POV and my male MC is based on Dave Grohl. (They say to write what you know and I have definitely done that!)
Thanks so much to Brenda Drake and all of the mentors out there! I'm excited! (and nervous!)
Check out the main blog hop page to find some other awesome writers!
XO,
SVR
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Find Time To Read
The Barnes & Noble Book Blog posted a list of 100* ways to find time to read. I'll boldface the ones I've done:)
- While you’re brushing your teeth
- While your manicure is drying
- While you’re on hold
- During commercials
- In between sets
- Watering the garden
- In between the warmup band and the band you came to see
- Waiting to pick ____ up from _____ practice
- On the Stair Master/Treadmill
- While you’re eating breakfast
- During the football game that’s on that you don’t want to actually watch
- Going up the stairs
- In the elevator at work
- Waiting in line at the grocery store
- Microwaving popcorn
- Walking your dog
- Flipping burgers
- During a fire/tornado drill
- Waiting for your laundry
- Vacuuming
- Rocking your baby
- On a merry-go-round
- In the carwash
- While the Subway sandwich artists are compiling your sandwich
- On the bus/ the train/ carpool
- Cooking risotto
- While your partner is reading
- Hiding in the work bathroom when you’re bored
- Before your (rude) date shows, thirty minutes late
- In the intermission of a play
- Filling up the Brita pitcher
- During “smoke breaks” since you don’t smoke anymore
- During the Real Housewives episode you’ve already seen 30 times
- Getting your hair done
- While the coffee percolates
- During the boring parts of your religious service
- During a pedicure
- Waiting for an interview or meeting to start
- While your cat is getting his yearly checkup
- During a shoe shine
- While they’re tattooing that tribal sign on your lower back
- DELAYED PLANE?
- During a horseback riding lesson
- In a hot tub
- Waiting for the sloowwwww bartender to get you your drink
- Inbetween shifts
- During a fit of insomnia
- While you’re doing crunches
- While you’re waiting for everyone to retweet that awesome thing you just said
- Waiting for the toast to pop up
- During your lunch break
- While your prescription is being filled
- Waiting in line to pick up Cronuts
- Doing one-armed pull-ups
- During a boring phone conversation with someone who is egocentric and doesn’t care if you participate in the conversation
- While the flight attendant is giving the seat belt demonstration (But kind of pay attention because, you know, safety)
- Sitting in your driveway while nobody comes to your garage sale
- On a float in a lazy river
- Getting a back massage
- Mid-cortisone shot
- While you’re getting your tribal tattoo lasered off
- While the fax machine is…doing its thang
- Waiting to see Hunger Games: Catching Fire because you got there four hours early
- Drying your hair
- Riding the stationary bike
- Waiting for the bathroom at a concert
- During the 8-course, prix-fixe dinner you’re eating by yourself because why not
- Boiling water for eggs or pasta
- At halftime
- Raking leaves
- In your lap during a bad date
- During a boring phone conference at work
- During the PTA meeting
- On your bike during stop lights
- In the bathtub
Friday, January 09, 2015
Contradictions
I got these prompts from Marie Claire...
- Would always: choose eggs Would never: say over easy
- Picky about: gin Not so much about: vodka
- I feel for: sad people No sympathy: for people who call out of work
- Glad it's ahead of me: marriage (I hope!) Glad it's behind me: SATs
- Early for: trends Late for: fads
- Would pay good money for: clothes Wouldn't take even if free: manga
- Fear conquered: nothing to do Note quite there yet: losing people
- Getting better at: writing Getting worse at: faking it
- Moment of triumph: bassoon! Epic fail: still haven't written a song
- Skills mastered: making omelettes Can't quite get the hang of: cooking meat
- Risky when it comes to: new music Play it safe when it comes to: movies in the theatre
- Always up for: a new beer Never up for: driving long distances
- Lie about: when I'm free Honest about: what I want to do
- Too much in my life: driving Not enough of: travel
- Worth the wait: shopping with my mom No patience for: people who won't shut up
- Better than I expected: Scotland Worse than I expected: not being in Scotland
- True believer: that water cures everything Major skeptic: psychics
Monday, December 29, 2014
Dream Scene 12.28.2014
The first kiss, the one I gave, was to the side and unsure. Just minutes before I was convinced that this would be the last time I would drop you off. It was an awkward moment, but our muscle memories brought us back to an almost embrace and that is when I kissed the side of your mouth. It wasn't chaste, it was sad. It was full of uncertainty and want and confusion, but then, as I pulled away, you turned your head and caught me. Caught me in a moment that felt familiar and warm and your lips on mine erased a few of the questions barreling through my mind. But still, you had to go and our lips parted and I said goodbye. And I still wasn't sure if I would see you again, but you held on to my hand as you got out of the car, not looking at me, but the earth started to revolve around that new sun. Your hand held onto mine until a moment when it should have been humanly impossible and our fingertips stretched and held and we only let go when the essence of our prints were touching and then you were finally out of the car. But it was okay because I drove off smiling.
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Happy Thanksgiving!
Of course I'm thankful for the usual (family, friends, health), but I always like to think outside the box a little and list some other things for which I am thankful:
There ya go! So what are YOU thankful for?
- the air conditioning in my car
- Jon Snow
- that the curtains in my living room are dark enough to shield me from the sun
- Netflix
- so many bunnies on Pinterest
- the beach at Chincoteague (technically Assateague)
- when my nook remembers what page I am on
- seasonal beers
- earmuffs
- when I have a break at work and no one else is in the breakroom
- Taylor Swift
- spinach
- Tennis Channel
- this time of year when the sun sets earlier
- a good bassoon reed
- Saul
- Build a Bear Workshop
- when people wave 'thanks' when I let them merge
- Prince George
- Netgalley and Edelweiss and being approved for awesome ARCs
- my sister's February countdown
- babies in general
- X-Men
- wifi
- bacon cheese fries at McMahons Irish Pub
- flurries
- fashion magazines
- Essie's Good to Go topcoat
There ya go! So what are YOU thankful for?
Friday, October 21, 2011
Northern Star
I am in Connecticut.
I could not be happier. Well, maybe if I didn't have to go back south on Monday. While I LOVE Virginia, I am so over Northern Virginia and its traffic, crappy weather, and "same ol', same ol'," if you will.
While here visiting my sister, we are packing in a lot of fun. We have already been to a Punkin' Patch and are headed to the Casino tonight. We were in New Haven yesterday and Niantic today and then tomorrow we are headed to Boston, which I have never been to! My good friend Vanessa lives there as well as Sam Adams and I can't wait to see them both!
Below are a few pictures I took while in Niantic.
+Title from Hole
I could not be happier. Well, maybe if I didn't have to go back south on Monday. While I LOVE Virginia, I am so over Northern Virginia and its traffic, crappy weather, and "same ol', same ol'," if you will.
While here visiting my sister, we are packing in a lot of fun. We have already been to a Punkin' Patch and are headed to the Casino tonight. We were in New Haven yesterday and Niantic today and then tomorrow we are headed to Boston, which I have never been to! My good friend Vanessa lives there as well as Sam Adams and I can't wait to see them both!
Below are a few pictures I took while in Niantic.
+Title from Hole
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Deep Water
I went to deep water aerobics with my mom today.
Yes, I was the youngest one.
My mom goes almost every day to the different work out classes and I have been enjoying going with her when I can. When I was a lifeguard at a fitness club, I couldn't help but chuckle at the water aerobic classes. The resistance of the water is pretty hilarious! So when I jumped in the water today,wearing the required waist float, I couldn't stop laughing as I imagined how I looked.
In my favor, I pick up things like this quickly, so I didn't look like a newb, but still, some of the exercises are pretty comical:
"Kick your feet OUT of the water! Up and out!"
"Cross country ski across the pool!"
But my favorite (read: least favorite) was at the end when we had to get in a line and hold our noodles up in an arch with our partner.
And then...
We had to take turns swimming through it.Awk.Ward. I prefer the exercises when I can be in the back and away from everyone. Not the ones that put me 6 inches from a wrinkly old lady. I mean, props to her for working out, but what happened to personal space!?
I would go back, though. The pool is gorgeous and any opportunity for me to swim is one I'll take.
XO,
SVR
+Title from Jewel
Yes, I was the youngest one.
My mom goes almost every day to the different work out classes and I have been enjoying going with her when I can. When I was a lifeguard at a fitness club, I couldn't help but chuckle at the water aerobic classes. The resistance of the water is pretty hilarious! So when I jumped in the water today,wearing the required waist float, I couldn't stop laughing as I imagined how I looked.
In my favor, I pick up things like this quickly, so I didn't look like a newb, but still, some of the exercises are pretty comical:
"Kick your feet OUT of the water! Up and out!"
"Cross country ski across the pool!"
But my favorite (read: least favorite) was at the end when we had to get in a line and hold our noodles up in an arch with our partner.
And then...
We had to take turns swimming through it.Awk.Ward. I prefer the exercises when I can be in the back and away from everyone. Not the ones that put me 6 inches from a wrinkly old lady. I mean, props to her for working out, but what happened to personal space!?
I would go back, though. The pool is gorgeous and any opportunity for me to swim is one I'll take.
XO,
SVR
+Title from Jewel
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Secret Knowledge Of Backroads
A comment by Tess on my previous post really made me realize the part of my life that I would really like to change:
Traffic.
I am sure it has been no secret to those who know me in "real life" that living farther away from everything has really affected my mood lately. Just to fill you all in- I had given notice on my previous apartment in Reston and then I got appendicitis. My parents ended up moving me out of there while I was in the hospital. I never had a chance to find a new place and while it was a blessing in disguise (the hospital is expensive, y'all, living with my parents farther out has been trying. I don't mind living with them at all, but they're 40 miles from my job and most of my friends. The other day it took me almost two hours to get to work. Now I have started leaving extra early and just waiting around at work to begin my shift.
I have already counted my blessings and know things could be worse, but spending so much time just driving is tiring, expensive, and soul-crushing at times.
I really can't wait to live in my dream area...a smallish town near a larger one (and not one on the Top 10 Worst Traffic List) where I don't have to consider rush hour traffic every day I plan on doing something.
+Title from Pavement
Traffic.
I am sure it has been no secret to those who know me in "real life" that living farther away from everything has really affected my mood lately. Just to fill you all in- I had given notice on my previous apartment in Reston and then I got appendicitis. My parents ended up moving me out of there while I was in the hospital. I never had a chance to find a new place and while it was a blessing in disguise (the hospital is expensive, y'all, living with my parents farther out has been trying. I don't mind living with them at all, but they're 40 miles from my job and most of my friends. The other day it took me almost two hours to get to work. Now I have started leaving extra early and just waiting around at work to begin my shift.
I have already counted my blessings and know things could be worse, but spending so much time just driving is tiring, expensive, and soul-crushing at times.
I really can't wait to live in my dream area...a smallish town near a larger one (and not one on the Top 10 Worst Traffic List) where I don't have to consider rush hour traffic every day I plan on doing something.
+Title from Pavement
Friday, May 20, 2011
Extraordinary Girl
When I was preparing my college applications my senior year of high school, I prided myself on my extra-curriculars. They had given us a sheet to fill out with four areas- one for each year of high school. I made a world record for smallest handwriting in order to fit all of my groups, sports, and other involvements on the sheet. I did everything.
I played tennis and swam.
I was in every music group that existed.
I worked.
I volunteered.
I was in the Foreign Language Alliance.
I did yearbook one year.
I was the President of the Wind Ensemble.
Etc.
I was very very busy.
And I realized the other day when I was going from one activity to another, that even as an adult, I have a lot of "extra-curricular" activities. But why? Sure, most of them bring me joy more often than not, but they also leave me really tired. And while doing one activity, I have less time to do other things.
I haven't been out to take photographs in months.
I've only gotten 10 pages into the book I got a week ago.
British Vogue is staring at me every time I go home.
I did laundry two weeks ago and still haven't hung up my clothes.
My poor Netflix DVDs take at least a week to get to.
Etc.
But you know what? I'd rather be busy than boring. Some days all I want to do is sit there and watch TV, but then I think about not playing in an orchestra or being involved with a theatre company and I realize I would really miss them. I guess it's all about give and take. Participating in "life" and all that jazz. To be an interesting person requires activity. I must be very interesting;)
XO,
SVR
+Title from Green Day
I played tennis and swam.
I was in every music group that existed.
I worked.
I volunteered.
I was in the Foreign Language Alliance.
I did yearbook one year.
I was the President of the Wind Ensemble.
Etc.
I was very very busy.
And I realized the other day when I was going from one activity to another, that even as an adult, I have a lot of "extra-curricular" activities. But why? Sure, most of them bring me joy more often than not, but they also leave me really tired. And while doing one activity, I have less time to do other things.
I haven't been out to take photographs in months.
I've only gotten 10 pages into the book I got a week ago.
British Vogue is staring at me every time I go home.
I did laundry two weeks ago and still haven't hung up my clothes.
My poor Netflix DVDs take at least a week to get to.
Etc.
But you know what? I'd rather be busy than boring. Some days all I want to do is sit there and watch TV, but then I think about not playing in an orchestra or being involved with a theatre company and I realize I would really miss them. I guess it's all about give and take. Participating in "life" and all that jazz. To be an interesting person requires activity. I must be very interesting;)
XO,
SVR
+Title from Green Day
Thursday, April 14, 2011
The Fear
First of all, yes, I know I've been out of the hospital for almost two months now, but you know what? It was insanity and I'd like to document some more of it:
About 80% of time spent in a hospital is boring. There is dozing, and visitors, and a lot a lot a lot of TV. There's just not much to do there and for much of the time, you don't feel like doing anything. I have already told you about the severe lack of sleep that goes on and when I was awake, which was much of the day and night, I was watching TV.
But it is the other 20% that I want to carefully remember now. The other 20% is awful and scary and oftentimes made me want to cry. It started when I was in the ER waiting to be diagnosed. I had left work because my bad stomachache had turned into sharp pains and when I called my mom crying, she told me to head to the hospital. It was scary, though! I had never been to the hospital for myself (except for a cut that didn't even require stitches when I was like 10) and I just didn't know what to expect. I remember the Dr. telling me that it could be a few things: an ectopic pregnancy (which made me laugh), an ovarian cyst, or possibly appendicitis. For some reason, the thought of an ovarian cyst scared me more than the others, but after having a CT scan and blood work done, he came back to tell me it was in fact appendicitis.
Things moved pretty quickly after that. I used the last bit of juice in my cell phone to text someone at work, text my sister, and then text and call my mom. I've never so much as had stitches let alone surgery! And by then it hurt A LOT. I had had to drink a ton of fluid for my CT scan and that, combined with my nerves, resulted in me using the bathroom about 483290 times. And you know what hurts when your appendix is exploding/has exploded? Going to the bathroom...sitting on the toilet. Oh My God...I thought I was going to have to have the surgery right then and there because it hurt so much to move. I don't really remember the timing (the morphine was warm, though), but all of a sudden I was in some pre-Op area with people all around me having me sign things and having me take all of my undergarments off and covering my feet and hair up. Then they gave me "oxygen" and the next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital room. I have no idea how long the surgery took. I have no idea how long it took for me to wake up. These are very weird lack of memories to have. I do know that they attempted to remove my appendix laparoscopically, but it turned out to be a mess in there and they had to open me up. (Side note: wow, don't do a google image search for that.)
Most of my time after waking up was spent sleeping. (I think.) I do remember at one point wondering how people with really bad medical cases or who are in a coma after an accident pull through. I didn't want to move, but at the same time all I wanted was to be out of that bed. I was too tired to speak and even on my birthday, the blue Tiffany box my mom held in front of me did nothing. It was not a fun few days. It's also scary to have the oxygen thing around your nose. It kept making me wonder if I needed it and then when they did finally take it off, I was worried I'd have some lack of oxygen problem.
The scariest and most cliche moment in the hospital, though, was my MRI. This was before they had diagnosed my partially collapsed lung and I was still in some abdominal pain. Having to be put into a small tube is just as scary as it sounds and as claustrophobic as they make it in on TV. I had to put my arms above my head, which hurt a lot, and then they slid me in there. From that moment on I did not open my eyes once. I relied on my imagination for the next however many minutes it took. The first thing I thought of was underwater (probably due to the whooshing sound) and I just went with it. I imagined myself swimming, and seeing dolphins, and loving the blue of the water. I focused all of my energy on not thinking about the tube I was in. And let me just say that when the technician says, "Okay, hold your breath....for 30 seconds this time" to someone who had been getting winded walking to the bathroom, it's kind of a tough request. I am shocked all of my images did not come out blurred because I didn't hold my breath the entire time once.
I made it, though. (Obviously.) Maybe next time I'll tell you about the cool procedure I had done to get the fluid off my lungs!
XO,
SVR
+Title from Travis
About 80% of time spent in a hospital is boring. There is dozing, and visitors, and a lot a lot a lot of TV. There's just not much to do there and for much of the time, you don't feel like doing anything. I have already told you about the severe lack of sleep that goes on and when I was awake, which was much of the day and night, I was watching TV.
But it is the other 20% that I want to carefully remember now. The other 20% is awful and scary and oftentimes made me want to cry. It started when I was in the ER waiting to be diagnosed. I had left work because my bad stomachache had turned into sharp pains and when I called my mom crying, she told me to head to the hospital. It was scary, though! I had never been to the hospital for myself (except for a cut that didn't even require stitches when I was like 10) and I just didn't know what to expect. I remember the Dr. telling me that it could be a few things: an ectopic pregnancy (which made me laugh), an ovarian cyst, or possibly appendicitis. For some reason, the thought of an ovarian cyst scared me more than the others, but after having a CT scan and blood work done, he came back to tell me it was in fact appendicitis.
Things moved pretty quickly after that. I used the last bit of juice in my cell phone to text someone at work, text my sister, and then text and call my mom. I've never so much as had stitches let alone surgery! And by then it hurt A LOT. I had had to drink a ton of fluid for my CT scan and that, combined with my nerves, resulted in me using the bathroom about 483290 times. And you know what hurts when your appendix is exploding/has exploded? Going to the bathroom...sitting on the toilet. Oh My God...I thought I was going to have to have the surgery right then and there because it hurt so much to move. I don't really remember the timing (the morphine was warm, though), but all of a sudden I was in some pre-Op area with people all around me having me sign things and having me take all of my undergarments off and covering my feet and hair up. Then they gave me "oxygen" and the next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital room. I have no idea how long the surgery took. I have no idea how long it took for me to wake up. These are very weird lack of memories to have. I do know that they attempted to remove my appendix laparoscopically, but it turned out to be a mess in there and they had to open me up. (Side note: wow, don't do a google image search for that.)
Most of my time after waking up was spent sleeping. (I think.) I do remember at one point wondering how people with really bad medical cases or who are in a coma after an accident pull through. I didn't want to move, but at the same time all I wanted was to be out of that bed. I was too tired to speak and even on my birthday, the blue Tiffany box my mom held in front of me did nothing. It was not a fun few days. It's also scary to have the oxygen thing around your nose. It kept making me wonder if I needed it and then when they did finally take it off, I was worried I'd have some lack of oxygen problem.
The scariest and most cliche moment in the hospital, though, was my MRI. This was before they had diagnosed my partially collapsed lung and I was still in some abdominal pain. Having to be put into a small tube is just as scary as it sounds and as claustrophobic as they make it in on TV. I had to put my arms above my head, which hurt a lot, and then they slid me in there. From that moment on I did not open my eyes once. I relied on my imagination for the next however many minutes it took. The first thing I thought of was underwater (probably due to the whooshing sound) and I just went with it. I imagined myself swimming, and seeing dolphins, and loving the blue of the water. I focused all of my energy on not thinking about the tube I was in. And let me just say that when the technician says, "Okay, hold your breath....for 30 seconds this time" to someone who had been getting winded walking to the bathroom, it's kind of a tough request. I am shocked all of my images did not come out blurred because I didn't hold my breath the entire time once.
I made it, though. (Obviously.) Maybe next time I'll tell you about the cool procedure I had done to get the fluid off my lungs!
XO,
SVR
+Title from Travis
Friday, March 25, 2011
In The Arms Of Sleep
It is literally impossible to sleep in the hospital. Sure, the first couple of days all I wanted to do was sleep, but that was probably due to the meds. After that, it was a nightmare to try to get any rest. Nurse techs would come in almost every hour to take vitals and if you think that stopped at night, you're wrong. I vaguely remember them worrying about my breathing as I slept and I told my mom (who stayed a night or two with me) to yell at me if she heard me sleeping with my mouth open- haha! My mouth was SO dry (see the post on ice chips) and even though I was on oxygen, it just is not comfortable for me to sleep on my back.
Ugh, nights were the worst. At least during the day there was some more excitement and better TV. I would sleep for 15 minutes, wake up for the nurse, then watch 45 minutes of bad TV, sleep for 15 minutes, be woken up, watch TV...repeat until about 6 or 7am when I would decide it was time to get up and sit in my chair. The hospital bed is NOT comfortable. In fact, it made me get a muscle twinge that was so bad they had the pulmonary doctor make sure it wasn't my lung. One night, every time I got up to go to the bathroom (and I had to be helped up, mind you) I would just grimace and want to cry because it hurt so badly. All I wanted to do was sleep on my stomach, but when you've had abdominal surgery, that just is not an option.
By my last couple of days (out of 11) in the hospital, they had taken me off the majority of my IVs and tubes and monitors. It got to the point where I would unplug my own IV to go to the bathroom and stuff. By that point, they didn't need to check me every hour or even two- I actually got three hours of uninterrupted sleep! Oh heavens! It felt so good. And after almost two weeks of not sleeping well, let me tell you, it was a deep sleep. The kind where you wake up like you've just run a marathon.
Even when I got home I couldn't sleep for more than five or six hours. I had to do a self-administered dose of IV antibiotics every six hours. Do you realize how brutal it is to go to sleep at 10pm, wake up at midnight and reset your alarm for 6am? Wash, rinse, repeat for a week. Finally, three weeks after my appendicitis, I got my picc line* out and was able to sleep a real nights sleep. I almost cried it was so nice.
ZZZZ,
SVR
*The thing in my arm where my IV was connected.
+Title from Smashing Pumpkins
Ugh, nights were the worst. At least during the day there was some more excitement and better TV. I would sleep for 15 minutes, wake up for the nurse, then watch 45 minutes of bad TV, sleep for 15 minutes, be woken up, watch TV...repeat until about 6 or 7am when I would decide it was time to get up and sit in my chair. The hospital bed is NOT comfortable. In fact, it made me get a muscle twinge that was so bad they had the pulmonary doctor make sure it wasn't my lung. One night, every time I got up to go to the bathroom (and I had to be helped up, mind you) I would just grimace and want to cry because it hurt so badly. All I wanted to do was sleep on my stomach, but when you've had abdominal surgery, that just is not an option.
By my last couple of days (out of 11) in the hospital, they had taken me off the majority of my IVs and tubes and monitors. It got to the point where I would unplug my own IV to go to the bathroom and stuff. By that point, they didn't need to check me every hour or even two- I actually got three hours of uninterrupted sleep! Oh heavens! It felt so good. And after almost two weeks of not sleeping well, let me tell you, it was a deep sleep. The kind where you wake up like you've just run a marathon.
Even when I got home I couldn't sleep for more than five or six hours. I had to do a self-administered dose of IV antibiotics every six hours. Do you realize how brutal it is to go to sleep at 10pm, wake up at midnight and reset your alarm for 6am? Wash, rinse, repeat for a week. Finally, three weeks after my appendicitis, I got my picc line* out and was able to sleep a real nights sleep. I almost cried it was so nice.
ZZZZ,
SVR
*The thing in my arm where my IV was connected.
+Title from Smashing Pumpkins
Friday, March 11, 2011
Ice, Ice Baby
For the first four days in the hospital, I was only allowed to have ice. Never mind hunger, which I didn't really have, the worst was how dry my mouth was. I thought I was going to die from dry mouth. I drink a lot of water as it is, so to go from constant sips of the nectar to almost nothing was beyond difficult.
My mom said I looked like a little bird as I would request an ice chip and she would spoon it to me. It hurt to move the first day or so. And heaven forbid an ice chip would make me cough- OUCH- nothing like coughing after having your abdomen sliced open. And sneezing? I prayed to Jesus to not send a sneeze my way. Even two weeks later I was afraid when I felt that tickle in my nose. I, at least, have had years of experience not sneezing loudly. I think my body took the force in every area of my body save for my stomach. In exciting news: I can sneeze and cough like regular now.
Every so often, the ice would melt and I would have a little bit of water. All I wanted to do was suck those droplets down like I had just crossed the Sahara waterless, but then I would get afraid: If I was supposed to have water, they would give me water...and then I'd just grab another ice chip.
Next time I'll tell you about my liquid diet...Fun stuff, eh?
+Title from Vanilla Ice
My mom said I looked like a little bird as I would request an ice chip and she would spoon it to me. It hurt to move the first day or so. And heaven forbid an ice chip would make me cough- OUCH- nothing like coughing after having your abdomen sliced open. And sneezing? I prayed to Jesus to not send a sneeze my way. Even two weeks later I was afraid when I felt that tickle in my nose. I, at least, have had years of experience not sneezing loudly. I think my body took the force in every area of my body save for my stomach. In exciting news: I can sneeze and cough like regular now.
Every so often, the ice would melt and I would have a little bit of water. All I wanted to do was suck those droplets down like I had just crossed the Sahara waterless, but then I would get afraid: If I was supposed to have water, they would give me water...and then I'd just grab another ice chip.
Next time I'll tell you about my liquid diet...Fun stuff, eh?
+Title from Vanilla Ice
Friday, December 31, 2010
New Year's Eve
I stole this from Kristabella:
1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Umm, I went to upstate New York and worked for a theatre company.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't make those. Jan 1 doesn't feel like the new year for me. I usually feel it more on my birthday (17 Feb!)
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Vanessa did! YAY!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No...thank goodness.
5. What countries did you visit?
None other than USA!
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you didn’t have in 2010?
new job, my own apt, a fiance, haha.
7. What dates from 2010 will be etched upon your memory, and why?
No specific ones really, just a lot of good memories.
8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?
Broadening my horizons and playing an extremely difficult concert in orchestra.
9. What was your biggest failure?
None!
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope. Just allergies, which is a huge reason why I reaaaallllyyyy hate spring and summer.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Probably those awesome boots I wear all the time. Or the gas to get me to Ali.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My mom and dad. duh! They're awesome.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I can't say bc they might read it here:)
14. Where did most your money go?
rent and gas.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
visiting Ali!!!! In Charleston and then Saratoga Springs, NY twice.
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Probably a Florence and the Machine one.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
a) happier
b) same
c) same
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
saved
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
trust people
20. How did you spend Christmas?
With my mom and dad and it was awesome.
21. Did you fall in love with 2010?
With James Franco
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Vampire Diaries (And True Blood and Dexter and Mad Men and How I Met Your Mother)
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
hate is a strong word
24. What was the best book you read?
Oh I dont know...The Hunger Games? Or Shiver/Linger
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Good question....Mumford And Sons? I dunno
26. What did you want and get?
A sewing machine
27. What did you want and not get?
more money
28. What was your favorite film of 2010?
Inception
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 30! And went to Fridays on the actual day with tons of people and made a profit bc people gave me so much money to buy drinks and then that weekend we went to Penny Lane Pub in Richmond...it was awesome.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
My own house. Or one I share with my husband.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2010?
layers. Always.
32. What kept you sane?
Texting Ali
33. What political issue stirred you the most?
People's annoying comments? does that count?
34. Who did you miss?
My granddad.
35. Who was the best new person you met?
Jen
36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Not all people are nice.
37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
No
+Title from The Walkmen
1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Umm, I went to upstate New York and worked for a theatre company.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't make those. Jan 1 doesn't feel like the new year for me. I usually feel it more on my birthday (17 Feb!)
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Vanessa did! YAY!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No...thank goodness.
5. What countries did you visit?
None other than USA!
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you didn’t have in 2010?
new job, my own apt, a fiance, haha.
7. What dates from 2010 will be etched upon your memory, and why?
No specific ones really, just a lot of good memories.
8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?
Broadening my horizons and playing an extremely difficult concert in orchestra.
9. What was your biggest failure?
None!
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope. Just allergies, which is a huge reason why I reaaaallllyyyy hate spring and summer.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Probably those awesome boots I wear all the time. Or the gas to get me to Ali.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My mom and dad. duh! They're awesome.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I can't say bc they might read it here:)
14. Where did most your money go?
rent and gas.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
visiting Ali!!!! In Charleston and then Saratoga Springs, NY twice.
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Probably a Florence and the Machine one.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
a) happier
b) same
c) same
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
saved
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
trust people
20. How did you spend Christmas?
With my mom and dad and it was awesome.
21. Did you fall in love with 2010?
With James Franco
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Vampire Diaries (And True Blood and Dexter and Mad Men and How I Met Your Mother)
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
hate is a strong word
24. What was the best book you read?
Oh I dont know...The Hunger Games? Or Shiver/Linger
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Good question....Mumford And Sons? I dunno
26. What did you want and get?
A sewing machine
27. What did you want and not get?
more money
28. What was your favorite film of 2010?
Inception
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 30! And went to Fridays on the actual day with tons of people and made a profit bc people gave me so much money to buy drinks and then that weekend we went to Penny Lane Pub in Richmond...it was awesome.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
My own house. Or one I share with my husband.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2010?
layers. Always.
32. What kept you sane?
Texting Ali
33. What political issue stirred you the most?
People's annoying comments? does that count?
34. Who did you miss?
My granddad.
35. Who was the best new person you met?
Jen
36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Not all people are nice.
37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
No
+Title from The Walkmen
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
Dirty Harry
The highlights of my day were as follows:
Talking about Harry Potter with not one, not two, but three different people at work! One even ended in me looking up horcrux on wikipedia. There is so much to learn!
Hanging out at my aunt's house for her Silpada jewelry party. I ended up getting the five stackable rings.
Getting a lot of fun compliments on my outfit. I forgot to get someone to photograph it, though!
XO,
SVR
+Title from Gorillaz
Talking about Harry Potter with not one, not two, but three different people at work! One even ended in me looking up horcrux on wikipedia. There is so much to learn!
Hanging out at my aunt's house for her Silpada jewelry party. I ended up getting the five stackable rings.
Getting a lot of fun compliments on my outfit. I forgot to get someone to photograph it, though!
XO,
SVR
+Title from Gorillaz
Monday, November 29, 2010
I Miss You
Sooooo, I am a bad blogger. Maybe writing this will have me embarrassed so I come back later to write more!
+Title from Incubus
+Title from Incubus
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Happy Alone
I am going to a friend's wedding tonight and while I am so excited, I am also nervous! I feel like it's the first day of school and I don't know who will be in my classes and if I will have friends to talk to. As comfortable as I can be in social situations, my shyness definitely takes over sometimes. I'm terrible with names and it is almost debilitating when I forget them! I only remember one of the new names from the bride's bachelorette party a few weeks ago. That is terrible!
I need to just have an out of body experience and not worry about it. I know I'll have fun. I will have fun. Nothing will be awkward.
+Titles from Kings Of Leon
I need to just have an out of body experience and not worry about it. I know I'll have fun. I will have fun. Nothing will be awkward.
+Titles from Kings Of Leon
Monday, November 08, 2010
I Will Follow You Into The Dark
I wonder why I'm different. Why do I like it to be dark and cold outside? Twitter is blowing up with people complaining about Daylight Savings Time because they don't like to leave work and have it be dark. I was actually just thinking about how I love that! Yesterday I got home at about 5 and my night felt endless- it was great! It was 6pm and I kept feeling like it was 8 or so. What a treat to have the night go on and on.
And the cold? Man, it almost can't be too cold for me. Even though I get cold oh so easily (I am sitting here right now with a scarf and sweatshirt on), I never ever complain about it being too cold. Too cold does not exist in my world.
The sun and I have a love/hate relationship, though. It just makes me miserable in the summer and sometimes in the fall I want it far far away so it cools down, but I do love it when I'm at the beach or pool and yes, it's great to feel its warmth when it's about 20 degrees outside, but usually I can kind of do without it.
I think I'd like to live in Barrow, Alaska for a year to experience the November-January of no sun. I think it would be an interesting experience. And a chilly one!
But you know what's funny? Part of me could totally live on a boat in the tropics for a year, too. Figure that one out.
XO,
SVR
+Title from Death Cab For Cutie
And the cold? Man, it almost can't be too cold for me. Even though I get cold oh so easily (I am sitting here right now with a scarf and sweatshirt on), I never ever complain about it being too cold. Too cold does not exist in my world.
The sun and I have a love/hate relationship, though. It just makes me miserable in the summer and sometimes in the fall I want it far far away so it cools down, but I do love it when I'm at the beach or pool and yes, it's great to feel its warmth when it's about 20 degrees outside, but usually I can kind of do without it.
I think I'd like to live in Barrow, Alaska for a year to experience the November-January of no sun. I think it would be an interesting experience. And a chilly one!
But you know what's funny? Part of me could totally live on a boat in the tropics for a year, too. Figure that one out.
XO,
SVR
+Title from Death Cab For Cutie
Sunday, October 31, 2010
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