Friday, December 30, 2005


Only I would manage to spill coffee on a wall.

I got to work late this morning because I went to get an oil change at Jiffy Lube. I hate going to JL because they always try to get you to get the more expensive oil or to get something else changed, etc. I know it's their job so I don't mind but I'm like, "no," "no," "no." Luckily this morning's endeavor went quickly and I only had one moment of "huh?" as a result of being tired.

It took forever to get out of my house this morning though and all of my energy to fight the part of me trying to get back and bed to sleep longer. Then, when I was about 5 miles on my way to town I realized I had forgotten my phone and had to turn around. Then I stepped in a puddle on my walk up to the front door and got my shoe wet. I didn't think there were puddles in December...isn't that a springtime kind of thing?

Anyway, so eventually I made it to work and was carrying my bag (which everyone loved last night, weird) and coffee headed to my desk when I decided to grab the set of plans I needed, too. Great idea, Einstein. Ended up dropping the plans which caused the lid of my life juice (coffee) to spill all down the wall.


Then I get up to my desk and people are measuring things, like the wall and stuff, but noone explains why. So I just sit down and cautiously turn my computer on and try to figure out why the people surrounding my desk seem so chipper when it's still pretty early by my clock. Luckily, it doesn't take long to figure out their intentions and they are good, not evil, so I let them carry on.

That brings us to now and I'm going to get back to my asiago cheese bagel and what's left of my coffee.


Thursday, December 29, 2005


Apparently I have the inate talent of making things more difficult and complicated than they really are. And this is weird because I always thought I was the opposite but here I am, overanalyzing a simple question and getting frustrated because I keep thinking of another way to view the situation. It's like I have a simple question, for example, "Can I not work on Sunday?" but I try to add to it the responses to the questions they will inevitably say or think. So then it turns into, "Because you have enough staff and I have a family obligation, can I not work on Sunday which won't interfere with blah blah blah and will only have the blah blah blah consequence." You can see how the simple question became bogged down with the extras. My questions are headed towards having their own footnotes and clarifying documents attached.


I'm just a little worried about the questions that won't be raised!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Drag The Waters

So I'm watching Smallville Season 1 (shut up) and this kid just fell into a frozen lake and was caught underneath. Seeing that scares the crap out of me. I almost can't watch it and they ALWAYS show the person underneath the ice trying to push it up to gasp for some air and it makes me so umcomfortable. I do the same thing when I see someone in a movie buried alive. I watched some French movie in college and they cut from a happy go lucky scene to the next where the main girl is in a coffin buried underground. I screamed. Underwater cave diving? no no no! I don't like watching someone crawl through a space too small to turn around in. Like air ducts or secret passageways (you know, like in the movies or Nancy Drew novels.)
I don't think it's odd to be umcomfortable by these things but I wonder if I would be able to do them if I had to. Like, if there was $1000 at the other end would I crawl through a passageway just big enough for my body? Yuck, I don't want to think about it anymore!!!


It's hard to not be in control of some situations. It is incredibly frustrating to not be able to make things how I want them but I can't force anyone but myself. Not sure what triggered this frustration but I do know that added on top of the stress of having no money, any little thing is going to make me freak out just a little bit. Right now it's trying to figure out where and with whom I am going to be in the near future.

Oh, Ali's here. I'llbe with her for a few hours.

Black Star

I dreamt last night that I was dating a Weasley-at least I think that is who. And then I looked towards the sky and saw shooting stars and that was the sign I needed. Although in my dream there were tons of shooting stars so maybe I just woke up before the apocalypse or something.

I dream in color and it's always very real. I have definitely had the deja vu feeling the next day of feeling like something has already happened. I used to be terrified of the theory that if you have a dream more than once it would come true. I had a recurring dream that a tornado was coming and I had to pack all of my belongings into this tiny white suitcase I had and then we all went to my grandparents.

I've have never dreamt I died, that would scare the crap out of me.

I don't have sex dreams but have been told I've been in others which is weird and flattering all at the same time. I usually dream about holding hands because I am the biggest dork ever.

I love that feeling right before you drift off and it feels like you fell. I love it!

I need to see another shooting star!

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Night Must End

Tonight has been one of those nights where time stands still. I felt like I had lounged for hours and when I checked my watch it was only 6pm, an hour after I had gotten home. I had time to catch up on Tivo, watch Gilmore Girls (an episode I hadn't seen, yes!), burn 4 CDs and that was all before 9pm. Pizza was delicious and my mom surprised me with a Dairy Queen sundae: "did you see your sundae?" "Huh? no, OH!"

Caught up with old friends, stayed in touch with the current. Even heard briefly from the one visiting up north;)

And it's only 10:30pm!

I wish every night at home was like this. I would get so much done!!


OK, So part of me misses the more "wild" me of going out and causing trouble and talking to strangers, stuff like that. Part of me misses the tamer side of renting a movie and hanging out, finding interesting things to see and talk about. So are you wondering which part is left? I am, too.

Much like I try to not have regrets, I also try to not be overly nostalgic about the way things were. A silver lining can always be found and positives are always there in the new situation. But even when aware of this fact I still know that I'm missing out on the previous silver lining and sometimes that lining seems better.

I just wish everyone wasn't so busy (me included). I want more of the easy hanging out. The watching TV, or happy hour kind. The "stop by on your way" kind (although kind of difficult since stopping by means driving quite a bit out of the way;). That is definitely a Richmond thing I miss-the ability to stop by. Or run home and grab something on your way. Everyone was close. People used to come over to my apartment to just hang out or watch TV. We would hang out in my room. I would hang out in there's. I miss these things.

Monday, December 26, 2005

What You're Up Against

Having to go back to work after Christmas sucks.

Everyone is going to ask me what I got but isn't that just like when someone asks how your weekend was? And it's only because they want to tell you about their weekend? Nah, I'm not that cynical. I just think my small talk skills are lacking so I try to avoid all situations where they will be called upon.

But really, going back to work after Christmas sucks because the spirit seems to just evaporate and everything goes back to the same old way. I guess we have a few more days since New Years is in a week but I'll never understand work-a-holics and their sickness that causes them to jump back into their piled up desks feet first! I plan on spending my day playing with my new iDog, uploading my new CDs to my work computer, and catching up on my blogs that aren't bookmarked at home. (Ok ok, I do have work I have to do and I will do it but I'm not going to forget that 48 hours earlier I was enjoying Christmas.)

Oh, but a thought....The end of Christmas and 2005 means I can start thinking about...MY BIRTHDAY!

Sunday, December 25, 2005


Merry Christmas to me and Gilmore Girls 5 which is in my posession and currently playing on my TV!!!! Other presents of awesomness:

down vest

Happy happy happy!

More on all of this later...

Friday, December 23, 2005

Warm Chords

Uh oh, Two Hey Mercedes related posts in one day?

So I'm working on the Best Of Hey Mercedes mix but realized that to properly love HM, a person needs to know of Braid (the band they all were before HM.) But then I got to thinking that people need a good solid music foundation to understand anything else SO, the following are Best Of...mixes I will make. Let me know which you'd like. And you can't ask for too many because I love doing this.

Blink 182
Britney Spears:)
Death Cab For Cutie
The Decemberists
Elliott Smith
The Faint
The Firebird Band
Foo Fighters
Hey Mercedes
Jessica Simpson:)
Smashing Pumpkins
Trail of Dead


Que Shiraz

I got my blogger sign in name from one of my favorite bands, Hey Mercedes who are now, unfortunately, no more. I heard them the first time when I went to the 9:30 Club in DC to see Jimmy Eat World and left that night with a bigger love for JEW, and Hey Mercedes' 4 song EP which I practically wore out. Over the years I've seen them more times than I can keep track of and have every song they've ever done ingrained in my mind. Bob Nanna is the hottest of the hott and his lyrics are so much fun ("smiling like New Jersey on it's side," "haven't been this happy in minutes," etc.) They are also an incredicly nice bunch of guys who knew what it was like to be so into a band and they always took the time to chat after a show or get the set list to give to the girl who just took 432890 pictures from front/center.

Bob Nanna loves wine (as I've gathered;) and that's where Que Shiraz comes from. It's an awesome song....if anyone wants a Best Of...mix of Hey Mercedes just leave a comment. I will be MORE than happy to make one!

Lack Of Communication

Whenever I fill out one of those stupid surveys and it asks what I am looking for in a significant other I usually put humor or honesty or some funny answer. But really, and this is no big breakthrough but, in any relationship, whether it is platonic or romantic, communication is so so so so so very important. And I'm even getting as deep as talking about communication of feelings and thoughts and fears, etc. Just keeping in touch with friends and significant others, and even family, is so necessary.

It is a special relationship with someone when we can go for awhile without talking and have everything be normal when we reconnect. Other friends require more.

I tend to get paranoid that someone is mad at me, or that I did something to warrant the silent treatment. Even if I did nothing (which is usually the case;) I start crafting apologies for random things: "I'm sorry I send you 3 emails in a row," "I'm sorry I made you drive the other night," "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make that situation awkward."

It's stupid, I know. I'm pretty good at reminding myself that I'm being stupid though, so it all works out. But a little part of me can't rest easy until communication is back to normal...

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Half Right

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate? Hot chocolate...special hot chocolate!
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Santa does both in my house but most are unwrapped and left under the tree
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? anything and everything!
4. Do you hang mistletoe? No but I'd really like to have a mistletoe story that ends in a kiss and not my last to experiences of the person running away. (running is an exageration)
5. When do you put your decorations up? I don' (roommates) do
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? I love vegetables, YUM
7. Favorite holiday memory as a child? sleeping under the tree one night a year
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? Because I'm not stupid...I don't remember what age I realized it on
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? NO! My mom won't let us:(
10. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him? Whatever is lying around
11. Snow: love it or dread it? Love it but hate having to go to work in it
12. Can you ice skate? I never fall
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? my camera/guitar year was phat
14. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you? getting the perfect gift for loved ones
15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? coconut cake? Can we have that?
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Christmas music on everywhere!
17. What tops your tree? Used to have a star but now I think it's an angel.
18. Which do you prefer: giving or receiving? can't beat giving but I can't lie that receiving isn't great, too!
19. What is your favorite Christmas carol? "Oh Holy Night”
20. Candy Canes! Yuck or yum? ok..soooo sugary!

The Conductor

I'm in love!

Like Eating Glass

I don't know how people get up early everyday and not struggle through the whole day. Last night, I couldn't fall asleep so I'll be running off just under a handful of hours of sleep today. This is unfortunate since my day today will be nonstop until midnight.

My rooommates both left for work today before 530. If I got up that early I would be passed out by 1pm.

OK, Need to stop procrastinating and get ready. I have more important things to write about once I'm coherent and have had the nectar (coffee).

+Title from Bloc Party

Wednesday, December 21, 2005


I'm working on a few lists at the moment. One is of every show I've been to, one is of the many bands I have fallen in love with in my 20-some years, and another is my All Time Top 100 Songs Of All Time. I'm pretty sure all three are impossible but I'm a non-quitting list maker and I will do my best with all three.

It's the second list I am most excited about because taking trips down memory lane is one of my favorite things to do. Remembering first grade and having a crush on Slash of GNR...8th grade and being obsessed with Aerosmith with my best friend Dorian...Junior year of college and buying 5 CDs a week until I literally ran out of money.

I was just sitting here, in front of the computer and listening to my iPod, trying to decide where to begin with this new blog when Millencolin came on. Apple should be given a prize of some sort for the *shuffle* option on iPods because I am always reminded of things I have forgotten.

Junior year of college I used to run in the nearby neighborhoods and always listened to Millencolin because it was the perfect beat for my laboring footsteps. Just enough to keep me going but not too fast to kill me:) "Hellman" quickly became a favorite song of mine because the lyrics hit so close to home:


No matter what I feel for you,
those three words I can't say.
I regret the times I used the word OK.
I know how much it means when people
show they really care.
Of the value in honesty, I'm quite aware.
But still there's much in me that I don't share.

Don't have the guts to say what I think.
I'm too scared, don't have the guts to say what I think.
I'm too scared, don't have the guts to say what I think.
I'm too scared to say what I think of you.

The other way around I'd say
I function the same way.
The darker sides of me I underplay.
Afraid to get into conflicts,
afraid to tell you, NO.
Though I know this weakness keeps me low.
There's so much inside me, that I don't show.

The line I focused on that year was, "
No matter what I feel for you,
those three words I can't say" and have been reminded of that a few times since then. Not in an overly dramatic FOX teen drama type of way but just in a way that I'm not exactly one to go around wearing my heart on my sleeve. Or even my mind on my sleeve if that makes any sense.

Don't read too much into the lyrics I've posted and think I'm a crazy loon who never lets her feelings out or hides a vast amount of dark thoughts...I'm also not running around "scared" of things. I'm also not making some declaration that this blog is going to be me sharing everything-it most certainly is not. (wow, I have a lot of disclaimers) I'm excited to tie in music with what goes on everyday for me:)

Go check out the song, it's a fun one and those Swedish guys are adorable.

Welcome to my blog!!!

+Title from Millencolin