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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Public Service Announcement

I just got back from the orientation for my new job. I didn't expect it to be exciting and fun, but since it meant I didn't have to come to work this morning, I at least had some high hopes for it. And if anything, I figured it would give me time to do some of my reading I've got lined up before school starts on the 28th.

Oh, but I was wrong. Apparently, I was in the "What if..." section of hell for orientation.

"What if my email address changes...do I call you or change it in the system myself?"

"What if the teacher doesn't leave me the attendance roster?"

"What if there are snakes in the classroom and i can't say "There are snakes in the motherfucking classroom!?"

"What if I go out of town one night, will the automated system still call me?"

"What if I am too stupid to lead a classroom because I can't problem-solve or think quickly when needed? Oh and I also can't multi-task."

"What if my cousin is in the school? I know you said not to hug students, but can I hug my cousin?"

Seriously, I thought my head was going to explode. Who are these people who get into a large group setting and think it's appropriate to ask their inane questions that either concern noone but themselves, or are the type of questions that merely require a few brain cells to figure out on their own. I actually had some valid questions yet I chose to keep my yap shut once the orientation went THIRTY minutes over the scheduled time. I hate those "What if"ers. They ruin it for the rest of us.

6 comments:

Unknown said...

Dumb fuckers. And these people will be guiding minds.

KassyK said...

I am lol...I think I have been in a training session like that before. :-)

lala said...

omg i got a headache just reading that.

Unknown said...

Ahh, fun. I've had to deal with some of those. I've had a cousin in one of my classes (although I didn't hug him) and might have another this year. But my what if is "What if my cousin is an idiot and I have to fail her?"

Oh, and I reinstated you on my blogroll.

Anonymous said...

I H-A-T-E people like that! Last year I was in a meeting with a bunch of teachers talking about SOL testing procedures, and one of my fellow teachers asked, "What if there's a bomb threat in the middle of testing and we have to evacuate the building?" Surprisingly enough, the answer was, "Then you evacuate the building, dumb-ass!" (Ok, I might have added that dumb ass part, but it was necessary.) I often wonder if people like this ask the question as soon as it pops into their head without really thinking about it's relevance, or if they actually sit and think about whether it's a good question and STILL decide to ask.

My Mom and I were talking about your job. Is the teacher you're taking over for going to be there at the beginning of the year to get things started? Or are you starting off the year on your own?

Anonymous said...

agreed... what-ifers need to a) shut up or b) go back to their moms who will spoonfeed them both information and creamed carrots for the rest of their unthinking lives